over silent thoughts and whispers

25 Random Things about Trish

2009-03-04T22:54:00.000-05:00

1. For all of you who don't know yet, I just finished my Accounting Program last semester and I didn't attend my graduation ceremony yesterday however, I was there to take my grad picture!

2. I am very transparent. You can tell my mood at that very moment just by looking at my face and observing my actions.

3. I cannot do cartwheels. When I was a kid and back when you all were cartwheeling on the streets/grass, I was watched by my grandma and told me not to dare try it.

4. I love to sleep. I've skipped all my morning classes for it. lol. I can even sleep for 12 hours straight for 5 consecutive days or more!

5. I love Mentos. But when it comes to the fruit roll, I pick out the pink ones and give the rest to everybody. This also applies to Starburst, Starfruits, Skittles, jellybeans and the like.

6. I hate Hello Panda (for all of you who don't have a clue on what this is, it's an Asian biscuit shaped like a panda with chocolate inside). Okay, I know it sounds yum but I feel like barfing when I see one.

7. Speaking of barfing, I've only barfed up twice after getting drunk and believe it or not, in one of those yucky moments, I threw up on my bf. (And yes, I'm still with him! lol) I have pics and videos to remind me!

8. I'm short because a) I have scoliosis, b) I was given steroids when I was a kid because I was sick, c) um.

9. I used to be sporty and healthy. I dunno what happened but let's just say i love sports. Watching them that is.

10. FRIENDS (tv series) puts me to sleep :)

11. My eyes are bad but I don't wear my glasses often so forgive me if you see me somewhere and I don't say hi to you.

12. I had this sickness before, I'm not quite sure but involved platelets. I think I didn't have enough of them that's why they had to run tests on me every week. Despite all that, I'm still scared of needles.

13. I have low tolerance on pain.

14. I'm always hungry. And I always cater to my tummy's needs. I guess there's no need to explain cause my figure shows it! lol.

15. I used to be stick thin. I have pics to prove it!!

16. I'm friendly alright but you have to talk to me first. Don't expect me to make the first move.

17. I don't watch horror movies because I believe that my brain is too creative. I imagine all sorts of creatures to be around me all the time!

18. I'm not the most perfect person there is but grammar (and stuff related to it) is very important to me. It's like an obsession.

19. I love pictures- taking them and being in them too!

20. I have this bad thing where I have to please people. Yes, even though those whom I do not like very much. I'm bothered by the fact that somebody doesn't like me. Maybe cause I try my best to be nice or at least civil to everyone. If I say nice things to you, I mean it. If I don't at all talk to you, well that just tells you something..

21. I get jealous easily- bf, friends, parents, family. blah.

22. I love sweets! I don't think I can last a day without having any.

23. I'm messy but once I clean all my trash out, I become OC in keeping them neat.

24. Normally I don't throw bitch fits but once I do, boy, you'd wish you never knew me!

25. I'm a jack of all trades but a king of none.

mother oh mother

2008-05-10T22:46:00.000-04:00

hello mother dear, happy mum's day :) even though you're alone sa plane.. kadiri ako please lang. we dropped her off sa airport and i was in tears pero shempre hindi ko pinakita. im such a cry baby.. trish, how old are you again?? can't remember the last time mum left us to go somewhere for work. wala lang. it's just sad that she'll spend mother's day without us. but atleast we sort of celebrated it already kanina. anyway, i know you won't see this but i love you and we'll see you in 3 weeks! :)

pudgy hoe

2008-04-19T01:14:00.000-04:00

i've always felt that i have had issues with myself regarding my weight. it's just sad that i've never felt happy about it my entire life.

through hs and college, i've maintained my weight-- 2lbs over a hundred. but since then i've been called names.. babs, anafat, taba are just to mention a few. one particular classmate even told me that im manas na and that i have to see a manghihilot. during these times, i felt like as if im the healthiest pig in the bunch, well in fact my 'old' self was nothing compared to my body now. even when i reached 98lbs before leaving manila, i felt as if i still had to lose weight. but where do you draw the line? i've lost and gained but i was never considered thin. i guess a 10lb change doesn't make any difference because i was always teased and/or begged to lose weight. don't get me wrong, im not mad at those who constantly tease me.

being thought of as pudgy makes me feel ugly and unworthy. am i being too sensitive? maybe. being called fat hurts. but being told to accept your fate being fat hurts even more. but it's ok, i guess. truth hurts but it'll set you free.........eventually.

i think i will be FOREVER be fat.

note to self: just accept it.... i guess.

the story of a pushover.

2007-11-03T00:26:00.000-04:00

and then suddenly a man yells to get my attention..

NO. how can you actually say this without making the other party feel bad? what words will stress that you really don't want to? how should you handle the situation?

my story today is simple. i was at a gas station waiting for my dad to pick me up. after talking to julius, a man who was sitting by the door was trying to get my attention by yelling. he asked if he could use my cell for just 30 seconds to call his sister. i immediately said no, rethinking the possible things that could happen of course, with my being batang maynila and all. i started making up stories that i don't have minutes and shit. still, he insisted so many times to the point that it made me feel bad cause i felt like i had to give him the benefit of the doubt even if i really didn't want to. i said yes. so many things crossed my mind within the longest 20 seconds of my life! will he run with my cell? (yes, cubao?lol.) or will he try to kidnap me or something to that effect. he gave it back immediately but i was still suspicious of what might happen.

i know what you're thinking... "how stupid!" but really, once you're in that sitch, what special maneuver should you pull out of your sleeves? i know we should always stick to what we know is right. but how and/or what do you have to say to convince the other person/s that you really can't and that they shouldn't force you to? im such a pushover.

you have to be firm.

because today is the first of november...

2007-11-01T21:44:00.000-04:00

i have a new idea for my blog.
1 highlight per day will be featured. short but sweet. let's see how far this will go knowing how lazy i am. lol.

WARNING: not everyone will be able to relate to this entry due to some cencorship to protect the people involved.

ive been really bothered lately because of a certain event that happened to a certain person that we know. and to top it off, they recently found newspaper articles (in N.P. too!) about the incident. gawd! shocked. heart broken. we also searched for the friendster of the dumbass that caused this whole sitch. we've got one message for you buddy: ROT IN HELL GAYLORD FUCKER! this will help me sleep tonight. bleh. all nighter pare!

talk about cherry on top.

at 3:30.

2007-09-06T23:35:00.000-04:00

well hello there wall! i missed you! what? it has been such a long time! and what a perfect time to remember you. it's 3am. i have to wake up in 4 hours but who cares?!

i have so many thoughts in my mind, where do i start?
1. school blues again..as if! i only had 2weeks of vaca! summer sem sucks big! no fun at all and as if i learned anything! ugh.

*first day na first day, my prof in accounting 'encouraged' us na kagad by saying it is the 2nd hardest course in the program and it has a high rate of failure. kaya i stayed up til 2:30 hoping that a bit of advance reading will help.

2. speaking of prof, she was also my prof last sem in my previous accounting w/c i almost failed btw. i actually tried to hide my face but after the break she saw me and asked me to stay after class. whooo. first day na first day, im the peyboreyt na! fcuk that. she did a you-should-come-to-class-to-pass-the-course speech. i listened naman..in a way im thankful din to her.

3. work sucks. i haven't worked for 2 weeks now. mixed emotions. im POOR now. lalo na im spending like a hundred buckaroos per book, paying my bills and giving the bruho and the bruha moolah every week. but im enjoying free time and not having to worry about getting tired after work.

4. driving test. i promised myself that before school starts, i would've taken the test. i've made this promise since last year and still i haven't done it.. now where in my busy-as-hell sched can i squeeze it in?

5. andy roddick lost to roger yday. :( but it's ok, he played good tennis naman, if not one of his best matches.

6. i so love novak djokovic's impressions! haha! he did the sharapova and nadal impressions kanina after his game.. gogogo nole!!

7. i miss gilmore girls :(

8. i love watching the ellen de generes show. she is sooo funny!! but if it weren't for my sister's addiction, i would never have discovered it..

9. my class starts at 9:50am tom so goodbye wall. til my next ranting session!

it's time

2007-03-22T23:54:00.000-04:00

manager: pat please fix this pile.
me: oh, do u want me to refold the sweaters at the wall?
manager: no hon, just finger it.
WHAAAAAT???!!!

i have been pulling all-nighters since last sunday.. hep. since last saturday but does that count? and i've been trying to make up for the hours of sleep that i lost. now im moon-faced! im not kidding. it's as if i have 2 monays on my face. talk about butt cheeks. arghh. it's time to lose weight again! (ung mga hihirit, GRAAABE. don't!)

i borrowed steve's book which he used last semester so i could save a hundred buckaroos since it should be the same thing---same subj, same prof. yesterday, our test got postponed to monday.. then it was just then that i realized that we are using the new version of the software! SMARTASS. (oo na halatang d ako pumapasok sa class.lol. but cmon, nobody does, swear) good thing the test was cancelled. and now with 3 weeks left im forced to get this package! 1) cause i need the new software and 2) because i can't bring a photocpied version of the reference book for the test. copyright shit.

speaking of time, it's time to wake up from my little lazy land.. 3 weeks of school left. career time to the nth power. im not even kidding this time. nothing is impossible. no more whining. no more promises. my actions will speak for itself. huh?haha. ill be a bayani soon. one chapter at a time. im gonna finish scheduling my study time for the next 3 weeks tom. hopefully ill be able to follow it.. hep, i would have to follow it. no excuses princess! so no out of town gimmicks til after the 18th! suweeeeet escape! just 3 weeks, short but hopefully sweet.

"We are left with a choice. Either let the guilt throw you back into the behavior that got you into trouble in the first place, or learn from the guilt and do your best to move on." -grey's anatomy

2007-03-08T22:59:00.000-05:00

what else could possibly go wrong? fuck this day.

chinky eyes from last night.
slept for about 3 hours.
slept in on my first class.
11:30. i was about to take a bath.fuckin building didn't have water.
opened 7 bottles of water, half our dispenser.used it for bathing. froze to death.
missed the 12:30 bus.
forgot to print my evaluation form.
lost my charge card.
stayed in school to wait for steve---he went home early.
spilled strawberry shake on jacket.
set up ni miki.

broken. :(

i kissed skipping goodbye

2007-02-13T13:12:00.000-05:00

February 13, 2007.

the day i kissed skipping goodbye.

*hep, this is actually madaya since ill be having slack week in 7 days! woohoo!

hell...yeah!

2007-02-09T14:43:00.000-05:00

just a couple of minutes ago i knew exactly what i would blog about... all gone now.

ugh..just a couple of hours more til work and yea i am so not ready..good thing im working with the people i so lurve.. stephan and kristina! haha. you rock my world too stephan, don't worry! :D and kris, don't even dare to give me another wedgie!!

i certainly had better days. yammy leaving. biju 'leaving'. and you. hay. work today. tom. sunday. oh, did i mention yday din?? and next thurs and next fri and next sat..prolly next sunday..lalala. blah blah.ugh. mmmussst shhhooopppp. emergency. grr. ill buy kaya the denim shorts i saw in old navy..or make up in sephora!! orrrr...ice cream! we'll see!

im really sad biju's gone. well, not gone-gone like anna nicole smith(may she rest in peace) *knocks on wood* while some people thought of him as an ass, he was nice to me. he made work fun---well at my expense pero i don't mind. hot pa sha. hihi. (hihi?! pacute ampuch) anyway. i didn't even say goodbye. hope to see you soon beej!

speakin of work..
trish folding on one table. man approaches.
man: hello
me: hey
man: can i bother u for a sec?
me: sure no prob.
man: are u filipino?
me: opo
man: can u help me find something? blahblahblah. kasi merong may birthday. im looking for a nice sweetshirt.
how sweet. ;p

anyway, it's so funny how...wala. huh?? haha. labo. i miss blogging. what's happening bitch! well, let's see. i had my tests in all my courses weighing about 20% each and.... id rather not talk about it. to me, school's a bitch. take it back. accounting is. omg. this has to stop! skipping class that is! but wait, except on wed. well legit naman excuse. doctor's appointment. bleh. you have to catch up on the remaining days bruha. slack week's in 2 weeks. bitch. ugh. stresss! and stress is bad. forces me to act stoopidleeee.wtf. promise promise. hay trish.

holy mother of pearl. wala lang. bakit ba. gusto ko magevaporate bigla.. mga 10 hrs lang.

who's my lobster?

2007-01-09T03:11:00.000-05:00

define emo.

in a couple of weeks ill be 21.. holy cow. not even in my wildest imaginations have i thought that i will reach this age (this retarded brain of mine came up with the idea that growth and maturity will be maxed out upon reaching the age of 16). bleh. welcome to the real world bitch. when you reach your twenties, it is when you'll start reminiscing bout the 'old' times (w/c is really not that old considering the fact that it has not even been 10 years since it happened) and begin wishing that a time machine is for real. being old--er, mature is fun cause people don't think of you/treat you like a helpless human being anymore. but in return, they expect you to be responsible for every decision u make. it all seems so deep. but what's really bugging me is that im turning 21 and peabrain has no clue on what to do with her life..

DURING THE FIRST CLASS OF ACCOUNTING...
Prof: Class, why are you in the accounting program?
Me*thinks*: I dunno. You tell me.
Prof: Of course to become accountants! But why?
Rob: Bec it is very much in demand nowadays.
Prof: Good point. What else? Because your parents are accountants?
*students nod*
Prof: Who has a dad that is an accountant?
* 5 people raise their hands*
Prof: Mom?
*a couple put their hands up*
Me*thinks*: whoooa. you have no idea! (fyi. both my parents are accountants)

eck. my career path is as vague as my love life. hah! HULI. kaya pala d mapakali..

A family friend told me this last new years day.. "eh kaya ka pala walang boyfriend eh lagi kang nakabuntot kay mommy. dapat nagpaparty ka ngayon downtown!"
na-loser-an naman ako sa sarili ko noh.. oo na i don't have a life and i don't have a boyfriend. maybe being an old maid runs in our blood, like auntie. *knocks on wood* i don't want to be an old maid. am i running out of time? exag ka trish, got 2 believe the movie nga 25yrs old eh when i watched that na OA-han ako cause to me, 25 IS young.. but still, she had prospects, eh ako wala goddamit. *snap out of it bonehead* i will have my next boyfriend... in due time. if God forbids.

"Emo" is not short for "Emotional."
"...it is not sidebangs, tight pants, and male vocalists who sing like little girls about their failed relationships."
-urbandictionary.com

see the connection? i don't. me and my weird brain...

my little ear incident

2006-12-03T21:52:00.000-05:00

i was cleaning my ears this morning and when i pulled the swab from my ear, the cotton part wasn't there. i tried gettting it out but i pushed it further. HAHA. like incidents from the untold stories of the ER.

me: mom! the cotton is stuck in my ear!
mom: anong ginawa mo? pupunta tayo sa doctor!
me: no! ayaw! ang tanga ko naman tingnan.. just get it out
mom: ayoko nga baka mapush ko pa eardrums mo
me: duh mom, malayo pa eardrums.

so yea after a lecture on why-you-shouldn't-touch-you-ear-when-a-cotton-is-stuck, mom finally got it out. hahaha. nanghina daw sha eh..

this is not my first ear incident.. back when i was in the 4th grade(i think) i did something weird to my ear that it ended up bleeding. and being the stupid person that i am, i stuck loads of tissue in my ear so blood would be absorbed. and i just left it there til the next morning. nice move! yea i had to go see an ear doctor so he could take out parts of tissue that were left inside my ear.

>>>why am i telling these gross stories bout my ear???

anyway, got my last test for SMS tom and yea i haven't studied, what's new?! im having terrible back pains. no work tom! yahoowee. finals coming up booo. im an ESB fan :)

anxiety attack

2006-11-26T23:53:00.000-05:00

my exact text to my friends tonight contained...

"waaah. i hate my putanginang life."

im having a panic/anxiety attack cause of the effing 15% test that i failed big time. no, i did not miss the passing mark by a few points, i failed it BIG. see, im just upgrading this certain course. i took it already last sem but im taking it again hoping to get a higher mark cause for some complication, i can't take the next accounting course yet. so yea being the mayabang person that i am, after the 1st test in this course i completely slacked. as in full time slacker bitch. i only went to 2 classes after midterms, i didn't pass my case worth 5 marks, i didn't study for the test i flunked. yea i know, my fault. thing is, im just upgrading it right??my prob now is if i get a lower mark than what i got last sem i dunno if the higher mark will be the one retained.. shit talaga. mind you, i have 45 more marks to go and im running 31.6/55 now. for me to get a higher mark than what i did last sem, i need a 4/5 on my next case and a whopping 87% on the finals.. kamusta naman yun! talk about asking for a miracle man.. i dunno..

so even though the test i flunked is just cause of my talent, laziness, i think i need more time off work. i freakin work 6 days a week.. malapit nko sabihan ni mommy na magquit.. she asked me na kanina.. epal pa ng manager. epal epal epal ka. i promised God i stop mocking and feeling bad towards other people pero.. i need more time off.. 6 days a week man, seriously! ugh.. and i can't even talk to her cause she's just gonna yell for sure..

ok, i need to rest now. not much throbbing feeling in my chest na. chillax...

ranting required before eco test. village friends mini tribute included.

2006-11-16T23:23:00.000-05:00

so i have my test in economics tomorrow morning, it's 11:16pm and im just on the 7th slide of the 130 slide powerpoint. there are so many things i have to get off my mind before i study so here goes my long list of ranting...

*i hate the fact that my ipod's busted. screw that piece-a-junk. paid almost 500 bucks for that shit. garri's fault. ugh. i hate you for breakin it! i want to get a new one. tomorrow. but i know i wont..

*i wanna get my new cellphone plan but every time i decide to get it, my dad stops me cause he wants me to get the family plan so i can share it with him and mom.. and every time i tell him to go to rogers and apply, he doesn't want to! im spending money like crazy in prepaid cards.. ughh.

*im stressed over tim's math homework! i love math. yes i do (even if i dropped my stat this sem) you can ask me anything except for 2 things---slopes and y-intercepts. i know rise over run but please, nothing about them or i'll freak. and what time did tim ask for help??freakin 9:30! while i was watchin grey's! i was pissed cause it was already late and she came home at around 3:45pm. (fine fine i do my work last minute too but atleast i don't bug them for not bein able to do it..) but i was annoyed mainly because she bugged me at that specific time---when grey's was on! since i started work i haven't watched a single episode. im always working.. and now i have a once in a blue moon opportunity to watch it and there's my sister pouting and having her bitchfits as if there's no tomorrow! she's pikon kasi u know. it's really annoying when she throwa her tantrums cause i'm tempted to have my own.. if only i don't have this freakin test tomorrow i'm willing to read her book and study the freakin thing again just to do her work. but noo. i have hundreds of pages more to study man. and now im stressed over it! not even my homework and im effing affected..

*i hate it that i have work tom, knowing that july and the gang will be out drinking.. i hate it that i have work on sat and i have to use the transit and walk from the intersection to our apartment at night. i hate it that i'll be using the transit on sunday too cause my parents will be out.

*i had a dream bout my ex that bothered me througout the day. kami na daw ulit. in my dream i wondered why we're back together eh we are so over na nga.. i mean, we're friends.. he's special to me compared to others but i know we'll never be together again.. know what i mean? ingrid's dad even told me that he feels...hep, he knows that i will end up with him in the end but i was so quick and straight to answer NO. that it's not possible because.......it simply isn't. haha. confusing i know. since i saw him again i knew things won't really work for us. i have my own world, he has his. and it simply won't work.. i regret how i said those hurtful words about him, how i cursed him cause of the pain i felt. i shouldn't have done it.. i owe him how better i am now as a person and how i learned from everything we went through.. i don't regret having him for that short period of time.. it was fun and i hope we can still enjoy the same happiness we had back then. but it's just not possible. i miss him, his funny ways, his corny jokes, his ---- ok stop, baka mainlove nanaman ako nyan! JOKE! hahahaha! let's move on.. stupid dream. haha. i wanna know what's up with him, how he's doin with life.. ewan. im thinking of emailing him.. well we'll see..

*my girls, my village friends, i miss all of you sooo much. i had time to look at the scrapbook you made for me and yeah i was laughing by myself like a crazy bitch. i miss all of you. and i love each and every one of you dearly.. thanks for the pictures, the letters that you did. it was heart warming, really.. know what, im enjoying my life here already.. that fast eh? but what i really miss besides from my extended family is you guys. well, you're like my extended family too!! eating meals here and there, sleepovers, hangouts.. it's just not the same. i miss pao--- the manipulator,the first guy friend(more of first enemy haha) that i had. always treating us like slaves when we were young! haha. even though he's makulit we know deep inside that he's a good guy, a gentleman! naaks pao lakas mo sakin! i miss thirdy and lex and how fast they've grown up! i miss karl and how he's always sweet to me.. my tatay mark who 's my eating partner that's why we're both plump! (see, mana ako kay tatay, ate mel ikaw kay mommy) i miss juno and how he has always been like a brother, how we always fight bout the smallest things ever and how people actually thought we like each other waaaay before. hahaha! i know we're not as close as we used to be but it doesn't mean he's not special to me na. you'll always be teetam, my brother! i miss josh and his sabaw moments! how i always meet him in lrt so we can go home together or go to rob.. i miss his room--lotsa memories there bro! wink* haha! i miss hanging out with the galang kids, and how josh's sibs became like mine too. i miss kim and how he always teases me as braso de mercedes, how he always sounds fresh claiming he's so gwapo and macho.. i miss how kulit he is and how we know about each other's secrets though we don't really hang out always.. i miss being kit's girlfriend in lasalle! hahaha! how that rumour bothered me and how i tried to pretend i didn't know about it while he was trying to do the same.. i miss our kfc days and the times where he would ditch me cause of that rumour that we were together..hahaha funny ass! kit's my partner in kayabangan, katamaran and kasabawan.. i miss hanging out with patrick and how mandi and ken manage to lure him into kissing them when he's drunk.. i miss that particular moment where we hanged in the claravall's and talked about lotsa things, like mature people do..wise kid yo. and he's cute pa! i miss jayjay and how he always manages to get into our house without even knocking man! he is always there that's why i don't miss him.. he is always annoying when he's drunk. so talkative and pasaway! jay-garri-thirdy = boy-version of the tatlong maria! i miss louie my baby (who hates it when i say that) and who now has a gf!how he's sweet to me too and how he makes me feel special! i miss amanda and how we always hangout in their balcony with our rootbeer floats, waiting for our prince charmings to pass by their street(how cheap, we know..hahaha) i always stay late at their house but i never really slept over till my last week in the pi. our heads and hearts seem to be stitched together. we are so different but we click! we know how the other thinks and feels. i miss her to bits but i know that distance makes the heart grow fonder.. yes i admit. she's actually my lover..hahaha! i miss muffy and her crazy and funny hirits and how we always are the last people standing in our drinking sessions! she needs extra white blood cells cause when i go to their house, she is always sick! (nye ang baduy nun ah) i lurve her sense of style too! i miss my mommy sammy and how we used to hang during our expert days.. one thing i wont ever forget was when i said she had intimidating brows during our pretend bull session.. hilarious! i miss leah mae and her pickastix! hahaha! i miss hanging out in their house and writing crazy letters to each other! when i have a problem she's the one i text first cause i know she'll call me cause she's rich..hehe ;p i miss ate rach and how she seems to be quiet and innocent but she really isn't ;p she always makes us libre! pizza hut stuffed crust! i miss tin when we bug her and randomly crash into her house and she can't do anything bout it.. i know she's always there to listen to my ranting! and always ready to cut and go to gimmicks instead! haha! she is the master planner--badminton sessions, dinners, shopping days, movies and even puerto! i miss cathy and how the two of us are fickle minded when it comes to shopping!! i miss it when she whines about her being fat and fugley well in i fact she's the exact opposite! maybe she just likes to hear it! hahaha jk cath. i love her to bits this bruha! i miss maan and how crazy she can be when she's drunk!! crazy as hell man! how we pick on her when we cannot get the climax of her story and how she is always re-decorating her room and invites us to see it every time..hehe. i miss ate mela and how she is when she throws her bitchfits! always have been one of my insecurities because we are always, (well not always) compared but love her to death, seriously! she's my ate cause yeah she's older than me admit it mel! haha. i miss tala who has always been there with me literally! even when were in a brawl, we still ride the scooter together and hang out in her house. we used to clash cause we have same crushes before! haha! i felt how important i am to her when i came home this summer.. you will forever be my talaling!! i miss how ken is my lakwatsa partner anywhere, everywhere, anytime. i dunno how i tricked her to go to lasalle so we can go home together..and to think MC is just 30mins away from our village compared to the hour and a half! we always managed to enjoy ourselves eventhough we're broke!
for those whom i failed to mention, it's not that ur not special to me! im just running out of time to review..haha. forgive me! you're all special! special as in "stop eating the paste" special! haha!

ok so it's friggin 1:14am and all i accomplished was my ranting..heehee. 2 hours of ranting, 0 studying.. im so hyper. had coffee and muffins with losta frosting!

BACK TO STUDYING

tick tock tick tock

2006-11-15T00:05:00.000-05:00

it's the mad sound my watch makes.it caused my insanity---well atleast for the day. im dead tired and sleepy but im still up waiting for you.. but nada. and now i feel stupid for feeling disappointed.. kala ko ba? i still have so many things to say.. grr. but oh well, it aint important.. but i admit was really waiting! HAHA. figure me out! i don't like you-like you but yea i dunno. you make me smile, a bit. :) as for first day boy, i don't like him-like him na cause i know we don't have a chance. lol. but you'll forever be my crush. and you'll forever make me smile :)
boys. they're stupid. lmao. i miss having my own stupid ass. but im ok! i just miss it.. hello there!

wonder what happened to lucy.. text me im worried!

nabarok ako. HAHAHA

2006-11-07T16:33:00.000-05:00

so i had this reporting for photography.. kamusta naman ung "I'm doing a report on Eugene Smeeth" ahem, Smith kasi un. HAHAHA. nakakamiss pala mabarok na may ibang tumatawa.. anyway, my report is BULLCRAP. 5mins max lang kasi. i just wanted to get it over and done with. may choice naman ako na gawin next week but dunno if ill be busy so what the heck, 10% lang naman un. mataas naman grades ko dito.

ive been skipping classes and i feel really bad..but laziness is the stronger feeling. omg. kung pwede lang d nko pumasok ay, gagawin ko talaga! i promised myself and jess that i won't skip na but then i didn't go to school yday, i just slept. yay for me. ugh. so i won't promise anything about not skipping pero..

"I WILL MAKE UP FOR EVERY CLASS I MISS"

i can't afford to be behind cause we only have a month to go.. kaya mo yan! wag tatamad tamad please.

i've got lotsa kwentos that are work related. hahaha. work's tiring. but fun. even more amazing when you get your paycheck. downside: i am now a huge slacker in school.

let the negativity flow out of your system

2006-10-13T23:37:00.000-04:00

ok so an hour ago i made this entry that contained curses as abundant as the population of the Philippine Islands. weh. ok, so im exagerating.. i was wailing here and there like a 6 year old who wanted her mommy to buy her the latest doll at the mall display window. for goodness' sake hija, 20 ka na. turning 21. act your age! ok my ranting is about my job. i have been praying for it since i lost my DQ job due to medical reasons. after the long wait, get something that i like---retail job. i love clothes. i love to shop. perfect for me. but i made a mistake somewhere along the interview. when asked how much i expect to be paid, i said minimum wage. ok, laugh all you want. but i was not ready for that question. i swear i had practiced my answers to every single question that might be asked. but not that. for some reason i did not expect that question. so i was shocked and was not able to think correctly. i blurted the amount i honestly consider low. but still, i was grateful that i finally have a job. but for the past days i feel so stupid cause of that talaga.. compared to other people workin in retail stores---or even fastfood, i am really getting a sucky one. secondly, i was whining cause i have to BUY complete outfits. take note, shoes are included. literally from head to toe. and we all know that this company is a pricey brand. i swear. so i was stressed thinking that i haven't even started work yet, i will be in debt. we're not just talking bout a hundred bucks. i don't have money to purchase their stuff yet ok? i don't think we'll get free stuff. discounts maybe. but with the price that they ask for, a 50% discount(ok so i don't think my employee discount is this big) would not be enough.. hay. and my whining all day resulted to a bigger problem. i wasn't able to do anything school related today thinking about these effing-not-so-important-as-school stuff. to think i have 3 midterms and 4 assignments due next week----same week im starting work.

i was getting pretty upset so i woke mum up. i needed a pep talk. well, not really. she was sorta shouting.. she made me realize that i have not even started yet and im already complaining. to hell with the dollar/dollar-fifty more that other people are getting! God gave me this blessing, i should be thankful. she asked me if given the chance, will i choose mcdonalds rather than this one? of course i would choose this any day! (cause of my back problem nga) i like retail and i think this is an easier job. to my manager, im sensing that she is a good person. if i am the only one geting this sucky rate, i hope it gets to her that i deserve whatever rate my co-workers are getting(see, we cannot ask each other about that). thanks mum for the talk. i needed it, really. i was fuming before talkin to her. sorry for stressing you out too.

im sleeping now cause i am waking up at 5am to study. yep, you heard it right. im waking up at 5 am on a saturday morning to study! i cannot start now. it's late and my game plan for today is busted cause i stressed myself over nothing so ill start early tom. i better pray. i have to apologize and say grace. study study study. plus sideline of shopping for work clothes.

you can't have it all

2006-10-11T01:03:00.000-04:00

why can't we be contented? why do little miracles often go unnoticed?

i saw him this morning.. even 'talked' to him.. but then the happiness that i felt only lasted for about 10mins. when i saw him today, it was sorta rubbed in my face that he really has someone. not the one i was mocking for the past effing days---a diff one. and we'll forever have the may-i-borrow-your-book rel'n and nothing more.. haha. i am so pathetic--- funny. i don't even know-know him duh. it's over. i don't want to like you na. haha. who said you wanted to be liked by me in the first place??

i friggin flunked my stat BIG time. what is a whopping 20%?? first time i failed in math and a big one at that. the punyetang formula sheet is the one at fault eh. why am i taking it out on an inanimate object??

well my day ended up with a high note though i felt dragged and sad the whole day. i got in! took me about 20mins to convince her that im worth it.. but i get a sucky rate. :( well, my bad. but im just happy that i have something even if super baba ng hourly wage. i need it to support my shopping needs. lol.

and i have to be in school tom for a a mtg. excited kasi un 1 kong groupmate relaks lang.. sorry naman if the presentation is due in a month and magmmeet na daw kami tom..and i don't have any class. talk about hassle ass.

thank you God for this day.

tired.

2006-10-05T17:46:00.000-04:00

so, i hate stat.. i should have stayed home and slept! friggin qnm class. i wasn't able to answer a single question darn it! can't show my face to the prof next week i swear.. but im determined to make bawi on midterms and the following tests.. yes poi, it's stuck in my head na "babagsak ka, babagsak ka!" hay depressing.. screw it!

so my class ended at 11:40 am today..and what time did i leave school? friggin 3:30! and the reason? of course to see YOU. lol. yes you. i dolled myself up today cause i know there's a chance ima see you.. haa! and 4 hours of waiting paid off! even though it was only a good 3 seconds of seeing a glimpse of your pretty face, dang it was worth it.. may ganon?? hahaha. i saw his chinky eyes amidst the 'giants' walking along the halls on a busy thursday afternoon.. and he smiled at me! take note, AT ME! he didn't even see our friends who were standing beside me.. haha. and im giving it some weird meaning.. lurve his smile! i wanna die of kilig.. lol. im the best stalker.. and i mean the best! i can earn good money if i go on business! haha! i wanna watch a movie soon! lucille, SOON! can't wait for study week!

2006-10-03T01:38:00.000-04:00

today is bliss.

my day started out tough but i got around it luckily.. sinungitan mo pa ako sa text ha, eh papakiligin mo din naman pala yung heart ko! :) AND, malapit pla bahay mo sa bahay ko d mo sinasabi.. sa iba ko pa nalaman..

OMG... we have something in common! no shit!! i cannot believe what i heard this afternoon.. half filipino eh? ay meant to be tayo.. can i die na??? lol.

thank you Lord for this fun day. hope it lasts til study week cause baka dun ko nlng ulit sha makita.. hehe. have to battle my way in tom.. 4 hours, no jess. ugh. what will i do without u bitch. photography tom too!

2006-09-30T00:41:00.000-04:00

came home from lester's.. it was his d-day the other day. we had purrrty foods. chick wings, pizza, spag plus cassava cake which paolo and lucille loved.

my econ quiz was ok. open book fo 90mins. not bad. i just did bad on the last short answer q worth 6pts.. not bad..not bad at all..

last thursday i said if don't get the job, there would be no hard feelings on my part.. pero may bitterness din pala. for a minute there i wanted to cry.. i was positive about my interview. i think i did a good job but then what can i do, it's up to them to decide.. im sure ill see blondie there. i didn't get any message in my home phone. i dunno how to check my cell's voice mail and i think wala naman dun.. haay life. i got excited, really. sayang..i really wanted it. hay. i thought ill have money for shopping na..hay. God's will. just accept it.

im dead tired yet im blogging. fucker my sipon, annoying. ciao.

you intoxicate me with your smile :x

and it happened in one day?

2006-09-28T16:57:00.000-04:00

i tried to prepare for my case in accounting but then i think i did it totally wrong! ugh.

ok so i had my interview today in disney store.. it was great. there were things i wish i've said but i don't regret any of my answers too. all 3 people who were with me were great as well. i had wished they weren't but well what can we do.. there was this girl who even looks like aurora in sleeping beauty. with the long blonde hair and fair skin.. im sure she'll be hired. she has all the good answers. the other two were good too.. we'll see..

for the main event, i'd rather write this in tagalog. cause yeah some people might visit my site and actually understand it. well, may crush ako sa isang lalaki. kamuka pa nya yung isa kong crush way back in high school. 1st week of school pa lang na nakita ko na sha, i knew it.. hah. kaibigan sha ng kaibigan ko. ay nako at ang dami naming moments today.. anak ng tinapay i was smiling the whole time. people might even think im a crazy bitch. basta. hindi ko maexplain. the moment i saw him i heard chimes. wahahaha. kamusta naman yun. tapos eto yun e, nammroblema ako kasi kelangan ko ng libro for this subj..tapos sorry naman kung sha ang super hero ko..sha ang nagpahiram sakin.. to think na kanina lang kami nagkakilala.. at eto ung highlight.. nagpalitan kami ng numero. haay. hindi kinaya ng beauty ng lola mo.. can i die??! sa sobrang tense instead of 647 natype ko 674..so kamusta naman yun? hahaha. you made me smile! i was babbling the whole day! seriously. yung heart beat ko grabehan sa bilis no. relax lang! ikaw talaga, pinapakilig mo yung heart ko ha..so pano ba yan magtatawagan na lang daw kami sa lunes para mabalik ko yung libro..haaay. mahal na kita. hahaha. kiddin'

but it didn't last throughout the day.. being the stalker that i am, i looked for him in this certain site. (don't ask, i have my ways lol) and a little bird told me na may----ano ba to in tagalog, may ka-relasyon sha.. ang pangit. hahaha. so nasad naman yung heart ko.. nafeel ko, this is it! tapos sabay bawi after 4 hours.. tsk. shempre hinanap ko yung babae nya. ay nako nako i wanna die. lol. alam ko pa kung san nagaaral. martin! i-stalk mo nga! nye.

thanks for making me smile today.. thanks sa libro na gagamitin ko sa pagaaral..(wish ko lang it won't remind me of my heartache knowing na hindi ka ready to mingle..wtf??) haha. masakit ha! owells.. after grabbing my uber late lunch im sudying na for econ. grey's pa later. toodles!

i like to move it move it!

quoting jeff: "you look like i could use a drink.."

my own roller coaster in my head

2006-09-25T00:45:00.000-04:00

i heard mass earlier today and being the inattentive person that i am, i was only able to listen to the priest's homily for a good minute or so. after his first two sentences, my thoughts wandered to whimsyland....

*"tagal namang magwashroom ni tim. tapos na kaya sha?" haha. nonsense. we went ahead cause she felt the call of nature on the last minute. eh my mom was furious na(as always every Sunday) so we left her. (yes trish, do you really have to share that?)
*then i looked at my feet... "ang dumi naman nitong shoes ko. kelangan ko nang linisin."
*gogo! i miss you mommy baby gogo!
*nagonline kaya si din?mango juice pa din ba gusto ni andy?
*i wonder how my friend 'fickle' is doing..
*tulog pa kaya si lucille?
*buhay pa kaya si kim?(hindi ikaw hot papa kim. the other one)
*hate pa kaya ni ingga si toot?
*galit pa kaya sina ano?
*sino kaya ung special person nila cathy and macky?
*anong flavour kaya ng ben & jerry's meron sa shoppers?
*ang gwapo talaga ni jesse mccartney i love him na.
*kamusta na kaya vaca ni lae? happy birthday!
*how's ate dane and phoenix?
*i hope ate and 'fickle' are both ok.
BLAH BLAH BLAH

i had the the most disturbing dream two nights ago. i was married to my ex boyfriend daw. HAHA. and for some reason i knew that he didn't love me enough that we should be married.. ah basta gets nyo? he cares for me but he just doesn't love me enough. parang i saw sadness in his eyes. and i felt sad cause i knew if something was bothering him, we shouldn't be married. i can't remember the details anymore. all i can remember is that i'm so engrossed (scared-engrossed, not excited-engrossed) with my dream that woke up with my mouth opened and i was about to leak. ewww. hahaha. you really make jaws drop and girls drool, literally. hahaha. and can i say that i miss you? yihee. hep, not like that! it has been such a long time, yun lang. anyway, so much for that.

little missy just randomly barged in my head. i haven't had a conversation with her in ages. something went wrong and we left it like that. i took some blows from her and i admit that i hated her for the longest time. to make it short, the pain i felt was that overwhelming that didn't want to talk to her ever and/or forget about the whole shindig. it caused me to say and/or feel things that i would never want to experience ever again. i know i was involved in something that made her feel that way towards me. kung ano man hunch mo before, hindi un totoo and my bad, with that i hurt you. i really didn't mean it i swear. and im sorry for saying some things and treating you the way i did. i really regret it. anyway, it's ancient na and i know i didn't have to bring it up. i just had to let it out one last time. i know she's not reading this but i wish her well. i don't feel pain, hatred or even insecurity anymore. she's a nice person im sure of that. magkita man kami, or magkausap man kami or not, i know im ok na :) i wish you well dear.

mandi. i thought of mandi. she's leaving for her internship next week. biglang nagflashback yung stuff we used to do together. her room. their balcony with rootbeer float. watching UAAP, cheering for admu even if my blockmates see me. ;p hangouts in katipunan. i miss her. enjoy mands. i know you have been dreaming about this opportunity since we were kids. make the most out of it and keep me posted. i love you my kinky friend. :)

then i remembered my friend, 'fickle' again.. i've been worried about her since someone told me of what she's going through right now. i've been thinking of ways to help her too. and believe me, it's really hard if you're gazillion miles away. i really think she has a problem. cause the same thing happened to my cousin but her case is milder. before it's too late she should get help. but how? she's too smart to be stuck in a situation like this. if only i could tell her up front to get help. there's nothing wrong with getting help. this happens to almost everyone. depression is often neglected. i think i have experienced this too. it might be the time when i didn't make it to the ateneo, or when i got shifted out of my program in la salle, or when i had my recent break up. i dunno. good thing i held myself together and i didn't let myself get into that much trouble. sometimes we think that we are just sad and moody. pero lil do we know it's the sickness na eh.

naremember ko tuloy cousin ko. we've been close since i can remember. she's jolly and bold and i never saw something like this happening to her. 4 years ago i had an impromptu visit at their house. i was supposed to go to my mom's office but then she insisted that i go to my cousin's instead. she said i should visit my ate. when i got there, i saw her. skin and bones. see, my cousin is healthy. not really chubby but malaman. then she said hi to me. she was stuttered with the simple sentence "hi trish." i tried to hide the shock from my face and acted normal. i quickly went to the bathroom and cried. definitely something was wrong with my cousin. super mixed feelings. i was shocked. scared. hurt. she looked so different. i don't even know what's wrong with her. my mom didn't even prepare me for it. i didn't want to stay there. i didn't know what to feel and how to act around her. i was scared to see her because she's usually the one who guides and sets and example for us, being the older cousin that she is. it was just so horrible. i was sorta problematic that time---being late for school always(duh, kahit wala kang problema trish late ka parin lagi. hehe. panira ng moment). i even had to share it with ms. caren (3rd yr htl---i forgot her surname, my apologies). after about 6 months, she got better thank God. she gained weight again and returned to school. when i went home this summer i saw her. she was doing good. driving for us, going places, having her duty. but i know she's not the same old bubbly person that she is. but recovering from her state is a very good improvement already. then, a couple of weeks ago, when i talked to my lola, she said my cousin had to stop studying again because her sickness came back. again? tapos i remembered there was a time she would text me just to say hello. tapos i didn't even reply to her. a simple text from me would've made her feel better. i pray for her non-stop. i hope she gets well and be able to finish her last 2 sems.

so friend, please kayanin mo. we're here for you. be strong. im just here if you need a ranting face to plunge on. im always online. and to everyone, pay attention to yourself and to what your loved ones are going through. don't neglect depression cause you might have had experienced it one way or another. know how to handle it. there are tons of info online. ask me, i saved some facts. if you need professional help, don't be ashamed to seek for one. quoting someone: what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...

adios mi amigas. sleeping beauty na ang drama ko ngayon :)

2006-09-22T22:14:00.000-04:00

celebrity duets finals is on next week. ay nako, screw you america.. jai rodriguez left the stage teary eyed.. cause since day one he was no. 1 except for this week and last's.. grabe im not gonna watch that na next week..annoying. affected?!

anyway, the cutie loser guy was infront of me kanina! haha. maybe that was the reason why i was so lost today in econ.. and what, i had to tell jess. wanna know what her reaction was? "what?? you find him cute?" ay nasaktan naman ang pride ko dun..parang sinabi mong wala akong taste..pero fine he's not attractive. pretty face lang, pero baduy. he looked like a walking denim cloth no.. from head to toe. rubber shoes lang hindi. eww. haha meanie!

hah, i was able to witness someone use a fake $100 bill today. yay, big deal.

2006-09-22T00:53:00.000-04:00

the grey fever is back! yeah you heard it right.. the first episode of grey's anatomy season 3 entitled "Time Has Come" aired today, (technically yesterday cause it's already morning), 9pm eastern(i think) time.. there wasn't a single moment wherein i stuck my head out of the tv.. i love it. especially the qoutes toward the end of the show. so tonight had something to do with time.. everbody needs time. time for izzie to get over denny's death, time for george to finally say i love you to callie, time for christina to digest whatever changes there will be with burke and time for meredith to think and choose between her mcdreamy and the plan maker, finn. if only i had the lines meredith said.. tried searching it online but no luck man. i wanna share it with you guys pa naman.. i have mcdreamy's though..

Derek: I wanted to come over here this morning to tell you... But now all I want to tell you is that I'm in love with you. I've been in love with you forever. And now you have a choice to make. I want you to take all the time you need, I don't want to rush you, but I love you. Just take your time. Because when I had to make a choice... I chose wrong.

does the word sweet ring a bell?! anyhoo, i personally don't like meredith's character.. hello? do you really need to pick up a random guy in a bar when you're depressed? and i dunno why but my sympathy would rather go to addison. and who is she to deserve both patrick dempsey and chris o'donnell? haha ;p

i've been wanting to blog for the past days but then i wasn't able to. now my thoughts are all gone and it won't be as fun if i post it now. hopefully something worth blogging will happen tom. anyway, i have random kwentos..

-i bought memory card for my camera today. frigin sale was til today only but im happy with what i bought. 1gb costs only 50+ bucks while the 512mb which wasn't on sale is for 60+ bucks. so good buy eh? then i tried inserting it in my effing memory card slot then it got stuck. anak ng tinapay i had to use tweezers to get it out. i thought it was never coming out again! i promised God that id lessen cursing if i get my memory stick from there and i did!

-hmm, was late for my stat class. and i was checking this white boy out. he's in my stat and microeco class! he looks like someone from hollywood but i just can't point out who..... oh shucks i know na! not really hollywood but do you guys remember that american idol contestant who sang michael buble songs and the like? what's his effing name..uh.basta! he looks like him! but thing is, he looks like a loser. hahaha. bad. well, malay mo hindi. and im happy i get to see him 3x a week. hihi. i was telling jess that we should have a "crush" in our classes together so we'll be inspired and all jolly to go to class. and jess goes "but there's no one really ok looking" and i was like "i know" pero deep inside hahaha. oo na loser na yung "crush" ko..

stupid near sighted thing..i cannot copy notes without wearing my frames. hassle.

class tom at 9:50. off by 3:20.. might stay in school though, cause i have computer work to be done..of course, cramming. when i wake up tom i have to print ch4 ppt slides for eco then think write a memo and work plan for english. gotta sleep. eyes burning.

currently having a terrible back ache..my therapists, carlo?grace? where are you when i need you...?

2006-09-17T02:09:00.000-04:00

im so excited for next week to actually come!! well, obviously im not thinking about my schoolwork. premieres of both grey's anatomy and gilmore girls! yahoowee! i have planned out which shows i shouldn't miss next week..

*monday - prison break
*tuesday - gilmore girls season 7!
*wednesday - TBA
*thursday - grey's anatomy season 3
*friday - celebrity duets

and speaking of celebrity duets, i really like watching it for the same reason every teen in america does. jai ro is smoking hot!! hello trish, doesn't the word queer ring a bell? so what if he's gay? i would not have even known if i hadn't watch him in that tv show for straight men. hehe. you wouldn't know or guess that he's gay by merely watching him sing and do his thing. plus, he has good vocals too! i bet he'd win!

well, besides from me luvin to watch jai in that show, who would've known that i would really enjoy watching celeb duets despite the other contestants that make me dose off? carly patterson went up the stage and then a familiar tune started to play.. pabaaam! there he was, the man of my dreams! hahaha. so i love jesse mccartney! he's so cute!! and kamusta naman yung pakikipag argue ko with claudine telling her that jesse is sir paul mccartney's son? thanks mom and dad for telling me that barberong trivia.. buti nlng si claudine yun.. what if it had been other people? hahaha. shit.

so sam and tony's song is stuck in my head...

US Open Championship

2006-09-10T21:31:00.000-04:00

so, andy lost to roger in 4 sets today. sayang he didn't win pero ok lang. not disappointed at all.. i mean, he had a good performance throughout the US Open and he played good tennis against roger especially in the 2nd and 3rd sets.. hands off to roger! the first player to win 3 consecutive US Open titles!

US Open 2006 Men's Singles 2006

and kudos to andre agassi for the 21 wonderful years he devoted to tennis...

my 3 hour friday break...and after

2006-09-08T12:18:00.000-04:00

it's a sunshiney day today! sa wakas, a lil heat from the sun naman. saya ko i was able to wear shorts. kasi naman, im getting bigger everyday. my jeans fit my flesh like crazy. mala cycling shorts ba.. hahaha! but tom and the days to follow coldness with showers pa. hello, how'd they finish the US Open kaya.

so it's my last week to slack.. starting next week i need to bust my a$$ off doing schoolwork. i can't afford to get low grades.. i want to graduate din naman with honours no. and if ima push through with OSAP (student loan), i don't want that money to go to waste din cause i would have to pay it with my own money later on.. and im old na, i don't want to look back 5 years from now and say "if only i've done better.." shit stuff no.

anyway, so i was 10mins late for my microeconomics class. hey, it's my first time to be late! bagong buhay? i hope so! i didn't know what they were doing cause i didn't print out my freakin handout. haha. what's up with that? i have a lame excuse----duh i always do. haha. we didn't have black ink anymore that's why i didn't print it.. pero honestly, i didn't even open my school account. hah! that's what you get if you share your pc with your 'kid' sister and hogging-every-cool-thing brother.. ay nako i really don't get my work done. while im using they pc, i would hear "ate ako naman" from time to time. annoying. i really need to get my own laptop. mom hope you can read this. fine it might be me just wanting it pero with tons of schoolwork, it'll be better if i know i can use the computer anytime i want.

so kamusta naman yung nagdagsaang chekwa sa classes ko? but infairness now may variety na.. before 1 out of 15 lang yung puti ngayon may improvement na. haha. so irritating lang cause with my microeco class, like more than 50% cheks, tapos they talk all at the same time. annoying. kanina they did that noh. ugh. cause when they speak it's like they're always yelling eh it really irritates my sensitive ear. may ganon?! plus prof ko pa, one of them. gawd 3 months, i'd have to understand my stuff with his accent. *ang sama mo, kala mo ikaw walang accent*

so im crushing on this guy in my stat class. hahaha. he looks luis manzano&jr bulaon-ish combined. haha. one thing to look forward to my effing class. i don't understand my teacher at all. he's weird.

james lost to roger in 4 sets last night.. well, what's new? i was just hoping for a miracle like with happened to rafa the other day..sayang. i really thought he played good this US Open. hmm.. andy's game later? not sure. dang. i wanted to go to the mall pa naman. sana last game si andy..

hmm. more kwentos later about our penn trip. gusto ko may pics eh..haha. basta it was awesome! i wanna go back there soon! sana sana.

toodles!

**********************
so i just got home. i stayed for 3 hours in school for nothing. i ate a $3 sumthin lunch for nothing, my english prof came all the way from the US and cancelled our 1 hour subj. and we knew about this after 30mins. sayang sa time. plus on my way home, buses were full cause it was the time when high school students get off. effing kids. so noisy. i hate riding with them sa bus. annoying.

so im torn between switching my stat class cause i cannot understand my teacher. he has a weird way of teaching talaga. tipong you can't understand the shit he's talking about na nga, he calls you for recitation pa. but if i switch, i won't be able to see my crush *teehee* hahaha! plus, i'll have 1 additional 8am class which i really really hate. what to do. what to do.

hay nako kala ko naman id be able to chillax and watch tv since it's friday but noooo. garri's friends are here

how could you tell if you've had too much?

2006-08-27T21:08:00.000-04:00

the cause of my suffering

so i was drunk

and red!

how could you tell if you had too much alcohol intake? simple. it's too much if you had atleast 2 barfing trips that left you with no sleep at all.

over 10 shots of tequilla with lemon, smirnoff+orange soda, and coffee will apparently make your tummy go crazy as hell. 6 puke trips in 6 hours. need i say more? i was able to develop a new special relationship with our toilet bowl within the 6 hours of chest pain, horrible smell, stale aftertaste and steady sweat. forgive me for this very detailed description. haha.i just had to write it down because i can't believe it's finally over! woohoo! it was really a rough way of telling me not to do it again. *hears random voices saying "i told you so! i told you so"* unforgettable. bleh.

dad's 52th

2006-08-24T00:11:00.000-04:00

it's my daddy-o's birthday today! woohoo. but then it's already past 12 so, yeah yesterday... we were supposed to eat out but we weren't able to decide where so we had chinese and pizza to go instead.. it was fun being complete talaga cause my brother's in his stage wherein he doesn't want to come with us anymore..my mom was askin us where we wanted to eat and we said we're ok wherever.. but deep down garri and i wanted to eat pizza..hahaha! tim wanted chinese so to make everyone happy we got both!

ugh. so sungit the guy in pizza pizza ha. he sucks biig.

food!!

spicy squid+pizza+chicken fried rice----hindi ata bagay ah

new layout

2006-07-28T23:47:00.000-04:00

i have a new layout! yay me! haha but im actually not contented with it..i want something better! i'll proally edit it next week or keep it like that for a few weeks. whatevs.

tim is mad at me cause i didn't let her use the pc..hahaha! hello noh, im kawawa kaya. i was home alone AGAIN cause she went to some museum downtown while garri had his 3rd wonderland shindig this summer!! daya talaga. yday naman tim went to the park with her friends and brought MY shorts home, soaking wet. garri watched a movie---ehm, double date yata..ugh.

anyway, i don't update my blog anymore cause nothing's happening in my life so ano naman ishshare ko dba? my life's a routine! i wake up at noon, use the pc for about an hour, watch gilmore girls till 5:30pm, take a bath, watch tv after dinner and then go to bed at around 2am. whattalife. ugh.

must do somethin productive.....

*miss you too dindin!

this made my day! CRAZY.

2006-06-22T23:48:00.000-04:00

anyway, so today was like any other crappy day(gettin back from my uber fab vaca)----sat on the couch, binged on junk and glued myself to gilmore girls all day long! but somethin odd made my day. and i say really odd. you have to check it out! just for fun.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leW9nn8ZCAM&search=keys megawd man, i can still hear the f'n tune. yo, it's not even bout the tune man!!!! it's about how she sang it. CRAZY AS HELL. talk about heavy accent. im not evil..oh well maybe i am..wicked trish! shame on me! i don't want to hear kiss me anytime soon. i hope sixpence non the richer doesn't see this! dang. i thought it was sum kinda spoof by michael v or sumthin..i even said "wow galing, may boobs pa" then it hit me after a couple of secs that it was for real!! dang that woman! it's waaay tooo much! (by this time i should've convinced you to check it out. if not then im really lousy at this) the most eccentric thing i've seen! it really made my day! okay, i felt pity for her too. and now a bit guilty for laughing. twas freakin aired on national tv! wish i could save yer butt! sorry ass. but yo, you gotta watch it i swear! just for fun tho. then holla back ayt?! hahaha! you go bitch! you made me

kimchi

2006-05-23T12:32:00.000-04:00

im bitchin again..i wanna holla at you ghettoboy! but you surely don't seem like one.. shit. i have a crush on a punk who's sooooo old. no naman. 6 years. and im bitchin cause he's ignoring me.. it's the first time i wished that loyalty be forgotten! ugh. what the fuck. im in a vaca na nga eh! nabbitter pko bout a new thing. boys suck. screw them forever and ever! i'll grow up alone! hahaha! fucker. bat ka pa nagpakita sakin haaa!

im erasing you from my memory! bye!

hellweeks indeed

2006-04-18T17:18:00.000-04:00

*hopefully by posting this i would feel guilty viewing unnecessary webpages that are not needed in accomplishing my schoolsh*t.

TASKS FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS:
April 20
-Marketing Test
-Excel Test (worth 35%)

April 21
-3rd essay in English
-homeworks for Marketing

April 23
-Labs 6-10 Statistics

April 25
-Organizational Behaviour FINALS

April 27
-Access Test (50%)
-Marketing FINALS
-Statistics FINALS

April 28
- Accounting FINALS
-Case 3 Accounting
-Comprehensive Case Accounting
-FINALS Paper due English

*please garri have mercy. lubayan mo muna ang computer for the next two weeks. yan ang tanging panalangin ko

*by April 28, ill be cremated. harhar. im soo DEAD. i dunno where to start. ugh. eto ba ang kapalit ng *crossfingers* masayang vacation. ugh stop whining. get to work!

the wonders of a vietnamese resto

2006-04-08T00:00:00.000-04:00

a cute server.

my new favourite resto? pho saigon. (specifically in eglington and warden)
why?teehee.i have a crush on their new waiter. i even said "crush ko na to" infront of him. i just hope he wasn't able to understand it. hahaha. naaliw lang ako sakanya..pacute! daan ng daan sa table namin (duh malamang nagsserve eh) tapos tanong ng tanong if we're ok.. shempre i answered every question and called him for the slightest problems. hahaha. talk about making the most out of an hour..he even handed tim a table napkin though she didn't ask for one. and he offered to give us a bag and a box for something to go. and eto yung climax eh, when mom asked for sauce, he was about 2 meters away from our table already so he didn't hear it. so he looked back with a puzzled face and i just stared for a good 3 seconds and then said "sauce?" hahaha! yun na yung shining moment naming dalawa..hihihi. eye to eye contact man! grabe, i will go there tlaga just to see him ulit! hahaha ang landi!

effing accounting test. 30%..and yes, im sure i failed it.

realizations after reflecting

2006-04-02T13:29:00.000-04:00

i need to attend a retreat.
i'm such an airhead. i've fooled myself for so many years thinking na im one of the better persons in this world. ~~complete package.~~ yet, i can't name anything im good at.
- ~~SCHOOL.~~ back in st. paul, i used to think that school is my thing. but no pala.. im just a mediocre student who is more of a slack than a diligent one.
- ~~talented.~~ when i was in gradeschool i thought i was gifted in singing, dancing and acting..tsk. phase lang pala un..
- i don't play any instrument.
- im no writer.
- i don't have any sport. the perks of being lampa.
- ~~a good daughter.~~ ugh. i lie, answer back, disobey etc.
- ~~a good person.~~ do i really qualify for that? i have done so many evil things. i dunno. doubt it.
im not good at anything. will i live and die being this boring humdrum person? maybe yabang is all i have. i enjoy mocking and criticizing other people but now i realize they're better than me cause atleast they have their forte in their own way. im not loving myself now. "love yourself first before you expect others to love you..."---er, or something like that..but i cannot see anything that's lovable! i'm a useless human being. ugh. it sucks.

i've been living for 2 decades now yet i still haven't figured out what my purpose is.. and i have not done anything good.. really. ~~principles.~~ i used to be faithful to the things that i believe in and then one day, i lost my grip to all of them.

i am an empty vessel. meaningless. purposeless. pointless. insignificant. unimportant. is this all part of my 'lenten fasting'? the priest said that it is not just the skipping of meals/not eating meat but more importantly the feeling of emptiness so God can make His way in your soul, so that after the journey with His help, you will be complete again.. (but then again, isn't it just my excuse for being uhhh, useless?)

for the past months i've been what? being the most negative person in the world. it is so tiring. rant. whine. wail. that was all i did. nakakahiya. i want to bring back the old me---happy and cheerful. someone who always sees good despite the uncertainty of the situation. i can live with that.

answered prayer

2006-03-23T02:18:00.000-05:00

"sabihin mo kay daddy maglipat ng money from savings to current...."
-yes!!!! this was what i was waiting for so many months now!! im so happy! but i cannot hide the fact that i feel guilty..wala pa akong 1 year, sayang sa money.. and ngayon pa lang, namimiss ko na mommy ko..hahaha! you weirdo.you sleep right next to her! (oops.buking!)

im just thankful for my family. we may not be perfect and we may not have everything in life but we do have each other. yes, it may sound so corny and cliche na but im really thankful that God blessed me with wonderful people. they are really the ones who'll accept you for who you are and will never ever leave you. thank you Lord. cause we're getting by.. kahit na wala pa ulit job si daddy, kahit na minsan masungit si mommy, kahit na si tim nakakainis katabi matulog, and kahit na salbahe si garri i wouldn't wish for another family. sana i-continue pa kaming i-bless.

ok, tama na ang drama....though i feel guilty pa nga, i think i need this break. to finish my so-called "unfinished business" there.. so i can say buhbye to my life there and welcome my life here. and to maybe test my independence(kunwari). take note, i can't live without my parents by my side. when i was in hs, whenever we'll have our overnight retreat super nalolonely ako kasi namimiss ko sina mommy. i would even ask the permission of my teacher so i can text them in the middle of the night. baby! hahaha! sabi ko naman kay God, sign na yun na pag ma-extend ung reservation, meant na umuwi ako pag hindi, hindi..eh naextend ng 1 araw.

thank you God. sana magenjoy ako and maka move on na sa life ko dito. gusto ko nang i-enjoy eh!! yahoo! excited narin akong bumalik dito! weh, exag ha, d pa nga ako umaalis eh! haha! don't worry mom, dad, i won't do anything stupid, promise. take my word for it. and, pwede padagdag? bitin na bitin ang $100. hahaha

too lazy to type my ideas all over again so...

2006-03-15T01:23:00.000-05:00

instead, im posting this email for a friend.. tinatamad nko i-restate lahat ng ideas ko in mind..remembrance ng thoughts..

here, update update:

it's kinda malabo na... i thought i was 70% sure na...recently i asked my mom if she'd let me go home. tapos sabi nya madami daw kaming gastos cause we're paying for the car and its insurance... tapos napaisip ako and nahiya naman ako kina mommy kasi hindi nga naman biro yung money na gagastusin.. may times na ok lang sakin na wag muna umuwi...kasi nga 1year plng naman ako dito dba? pero when i try to imagine how fun it would be to go home, gawd, nasasad ako thinking na im not gonna see you anytime soon. and if my application for co-op(parang on the job training) will be approved, i won't have free summers till 2008 or 2009...so parang gusto ko i-grab yung opportunity ngayon...pero sabi nga nila mommy malay mo makaipon nko enough money para makauwi sa xmas06. fair enough. possible. esp if id be working the whole summer. pero, wala din si mandi nun,she'll be in japan..sayang din dba..or, pwede namang ibang yrs na.. nakakahiya nga kasi kina mommy pati nren sa mga tao na makakaalam..baka isipin nila nagwwaste ako ng money.. pero namimiss na kita eh. kayo lahat. fickle minded ako. minsan ok lang kahit d muna umuwi pero minsan, im dying to go naman.. gusto ko narin kasing magkaron ng closure sa pag move ko dito..kasi feeling ko hanggang d ako bumabalik may certain longing that's killing me---gustong gusto kong umuwi..it's all i can think about.sayang naman nawawaste kong time para maging happy and contented dito..and once and for all ma-meet ko na si long lost friend, reality...am i making sense or palusot ko lang?kebs. haha. im just sad...minsan ok lang talaga sakin pero...ugh. ewan. haha. actually, if im gonna push it, pwede. kaso magisa lang ako sa northwest cause walang US visa si lucille.. mom has 24,000 free miles kasi with northwest. eh 16,000+ lang yata if balikan...pero, hindi ko alam..baka kasi i-push ko ng i-push tapos biglang hindi ako magenjoy, madisappoint lang ako dba...kaya nga nagppray ako, and bigyan Nya ako ng sign..anyhoo, i just wanna update you cause na-realize ko lang malapit na pala mag-end ang march... and im still not the "hot mama" that we're hoping..hahaha! more of flab mama! teehee. miss you din. i know you're busy cause of finals! goodluck. love you!

God, sign...

thank you God for my corny friend

2006-03-06T14:32:00.000-05:00

this kwelang blockmate of mine gave me a very cool idea. recently i posted something about a balloon---double meaning of course. and it's only now na i was able to read his comment on it..

*trisha sings/chants*
"ako ay may lobo, lumipad sa langit
di ko na nakita, pumutok na pala.
sayang lang pera ko, pambili ng lobo
sa pagkain sana, nabusog pa ako."

thanks ian! *apir* you're the best! hahaha!

the story of my balloon

2006-02-27T03:02:00.000-05:00

i let go of my balloon, thinking that eventually that the helium inside will magically go away and it will come back down to me. when that happens, i thought to myself, i can tie the string around my wrist so that way i won't ever lose it again. i thought it just needed time to lose the helium then it'll be perfect to keep. but i was wrong. cause when i let go of the string of my balloon, it flew out my door. i thought i could keep it floating inside my room, relying on the roof to keep it within my reach. but, tough luck. the minute i let go it flew away and reached for the sun. i thought i wouldn't live without my balloon. i cried myself to death for so many weeks. i thought God has turned His back from me. i had hoped i would have with my balloon beside me for the rest of my life, inflated or not. i got mad having released my balloon. i even regret having it in the first place. while it did really give me joy, it also made me experience loneliness---- smacked on my face. i was scared that somebody might possess my beloved balloon. because i just know that nobody would care for it as much i will. because i have witnessed how it was inflated and how the string was attached to it. and of all the balloons infront of me, it was the one that i chose. i was scared that it will find joy in other people's wrists. or that it will eventually pop in the sky and no one will even notice. that it's existence will be history. but you see, that's really the story of a balloon. you cannot hold on to it forever. it's just like holding on to sand---when you grip it too much or hold it loosely, sand will flow out from your hand either way. it's just how the story of a balloon goes. it's just sad that when it pops, sealions feed on it and they will too, die eventually. i must admit that i am still bitter upon losing it. it has become a part of my life and it will always be. maybe im not yet ready to hear new updates about my balloon but i will be one day. and im looking forward to it! but right now, im just taking it one step at a time.. it will always hurt but hey, it will always get better.

moral lesson of the story: BALLOONS ARE BAD. GET AWAY FROM THEM! ALL OF THEM ARE THE SAME. THEY'RE EVIL. hahahaha just kiddin!

inlalalalalalalab

2006-02-11T03:11:00.000-05:00

paulinians re-unite! yes, hindi lang kami ni lucille ang descendants ng loving patron saint natin dito sa land of the maple leafs. we were with leachay, barroga and maico a while ago. who would've thought this freezing land will bring us together. to think i don't know them before. cool! we met at square1 in mississauga. papansin kasi tong si maico may trabaho pang nalalaman(oo na, bitter na, jobless eh!haha) it's like 2 hours from my place. twas fun. mabuhay ang mga paulinians! the best! naglandian lang kami dun. more details later.

***

nabuhay si besty winston. akalain mo yun, after how many months nag-krus(if there's such a word) muli ang aming landas! nakakamiss talaga. pero narealize ko na na-miss ko lang sha at tama nang occasionally lang kami nagkikita. heehee.

***

si lucille, tulog na and im still alive and kicking doing what? exploring sam milby's videos in youtube.com. yes nakisali nko sa bandwagon ng milby fans. na-curious lang ako cause i was seeing him everywhere. when i saw him singing true in this particular video, na-inlalalalalalab ang beauty ko. sorry naman pero as i am writing this im watching it again. kinikilig yung puso ko eh. "napakapoging nilalang naman nito," naisip ko. and nakakainlalalab ang boses. sing for me. yak. nakakadiri ako. wahaha. ni hindi ko nga yun napanood sa pinoy big brother cause we left PI before the show even started. the minute the show aired, everyone was goin-gaga over him and i didn't want to be part of the group. alam nyo na, ayokong may ka-share. wahaha! pero sorry naman, i wasn't expecting this to happen. tama na, nakakadiri ka ha. landi mo. waha.

coeur i vous sam! <3

my birthday present

2006-01-24T10:20:00.000-05:00

tangina mo.
ang kapal ng mukha mo.
i don't wanna see or talk to you ever again.
ur the biggest liar i've met.
may you rot in hell.
isama mo pa sha kung gusto mo para mas masaya kayo.
i hate you.
i wish i never met you.
i regret everything.
i hope you're happy cause u won. fuck you!

2006-01-17T20:03:00.000-05:00

i suck. i skipped organizational behaviour today. it's only once a week. next week we have our quiz already and i missed the discussion. my reason? totally forgot about the homework to be passed today. just like i forgot the readings assigned for english. ang galing ko eh.pumunta pa ako sa room and when i saw my classmates with their worksheets, i told samuel that id just go to the washroom and i'll be back. but noooo...hindi na ako bumalik! ano na lang nangyari sa goals ko for this sem? i felt really bad skipping but i didn't wanna start off with the wrong foot with my prof.

i felt bad bout myself. and what will make me feel better? of course, shopping! sadly, i didnt find anything that i wanted. and it's not cheap anyways so i settled for a big mac.

somebody switched shifts with me. and instead of working tonight, im gonna work on friday, 5-10pm. gawd, 5 hours with manju? three hours nga lang d ko matake eh. boohoo for me. but im telling my manager on friday that im quitting. im not enjoying work and its terrible. just the thought of it drains me. goodluck in finding a new job trish!

my birthday is just around the corner. and.. it would be very different indeed. and sad. it will just remind me of the 'life' that i left back in the PI.

i love mondays!

2006-01-16T12:50:00.000-05:00

narealize ko lang, i love mondays! well, sa start ng day hindi cause i have to wake up freakin early cause my class is @ 8am. imagine how cold it is and that i have to take a shower then walk all the way to the bus stop. crazy climate! this morning it was -13deg but with the windchill and dewpoint etc, felt like -20+deg. whew! and i had to go to 1 class. just one. nakakatamad talaga. soooper lamig na, i feel grumpy kasi i still wanna sleep, so many people in the bus and after 2hrs uwi na! but then on my way home i realized that i like it. super maluwag yung bus pauwi. oldies lahat kasabay ko sa bus. wala pang tao sa mall--suweeet! and i get to do soo many things like sleep. eat. surf net. mall. aka mga katamaran ko sa buhay. and now im beginning to hate tue, wed and thurs.
tuesdays--fully loaded ng subjects, 9:50-4:15pm straight. wala manlang time to chill eh. then work 6-9:30pm.
wednesdays--3:20-5:10pm (woohoo 1 subj lang) then work 6-9:30pm
thursdays--8:00-3:20pm with optional lab 3:20-4:15pm. shempre napakasipag ko kaya d ako pumupunta dun..haha.well i guess pag nagstart na kmi ng labs then id go.
and voila! friday! gawd. the middle of the week seems so loooong.

last friday we went to Fairview Mall. dropped by to say hello to my manager and to grab a 50% blizzard. jologs hindi free. then she asked me how i was doin during the night i said i think im slow during closing. and she said it was ok because im new and im not used to the workplace and the kind of work unlike the other girls. sha said i don't have to worry. sheesh, tell that to ma**u and ne**ab. i also told her that my mom wants me to quit because i have scoliosis and i can't lift heavy things. she said if that's the case, i can ask help from manju and sherry because they are nice daw. si sherry oo pero yung isa hindi ko nlng alam. and shaheen said that she's worried that my mom thinks i get home late. yeah well, pinapasundo nga ako kay garri sa bus stop eh..haha. bebe pa. and im not getting enough hours. kasi yung may-ari nung place kuripot! aba, gusto ba naman the whole day 2 girls lang magwowork. isa sa umaga(which is shaheen as the manager) and isa sa gabi to close everything. relaks lang noh! panalo ka sa kakuriputan eh! hunch namin nila lucille chekwa may-ari nun. i told my manager na id think about it cause i need the job--the money, but i have certain conditions that might be hindering me from getting my work done. at natuwa naman ako kasi inabot sakin yung 1st paycheck ko..haha. not bad. atleast nahuthutan ko narin ng pera yung management. heehee. at pag nagquit ako, may $51 yata akong makukuha when i surrender my uniform. so for now itutuloy ko muna yun. and ang plan ko, maghahanap ako ng trabaho sa cedarbrae--nearest mall sa lilipatan namin na apartment or sa stc. speakin of lilipat, our new address'll be:

Unit 305, 3210 Lawrence Avenue East
Scarborough, Toronto, ON (i think it should just be either Scarborough or Toronto lang, pick one)
CANADA
M1H 1A3

effective january 30th i think or earlier..so sa mga magpapadala dyan. (mands, din, auntie) ahem! yan na ha..hahaha!

my post for january 12

2006-01-14T10:39:00.000-05:00

i got this from my friendster horoscope thingy:
"If everything was easy, you'd never feel like you accomplished anything, would you?"

true eh? if you've accomplished something that you have had a hard time working on, it feels so good having it done. boosts your ego as well. many people prefer to have challenges in their lives. they feel happier having to deal with these hardships and experiencing the reward after. sweet! think about it, if life was something that was so easy to deal with, it will be boring. its true that there will be no suffering whatsoever but we wouldn't be feeling happy or fulfilled with something that we have done because we didn't put effort to accomplish it. i don't think we'd still look forward to the next day because every single day will just the same. there's nothing exciting to look forward to, i guess.

it's just like happiness and sadness. how will we be able to feel happy and relieved if we have never experienced suffering? there will be no "happy" times if not for the sad ones. see, it draws the line between two different things.

for the past month or so i've been going through a lot. lovelife. school. job. these made me feel so bad about myself, about my luck in life. why was God giving me all these problems?is He really confident that i'd be able to handle all of these? it was too much for me, or atleast i thought so.
up to now i still cry and feel really bad because of him. i expected things to work out kasi. i got disappointed tuloy. torn between staying or moving on. i watched this show kanina. sabi you can't move on if you still have love for that person. and hmm, i don't want to move on. (yes.my personal choice of prolonging my agony) but the thing is, i don't want to wait if he's not gonna. (yes, pride naman to.ayaw magpa-isa eh) for now, im gonna try to just explore what's in store for me. make friends, accomplish things that i have to and just keep the faith. and if he is the one that God paired me up with (and i hope he is), he'll be there. if i am really a part of his dream, he will look for me after doing the things he has to do. if he won't, argh, maybe he's not the guy i though he was. (jerk!) haha joke lang.

school. i just feel bad knowing i did so much better than my classmates and they got higher marks. i wouldn't question my mark just for the sake of getting rid of low grades. it's because i know i did well and i know the things in the subject. if he does not reconsider my 'petition', there's a big chance that ill be out of my program. and i'd be back to square one. for the nth time. i just felt that for the first time, i know what im doing and i was actually excelling. i felt good about myself. if things dont turn out well, id be forced to shift out. thanks to this 'incident' that hit me twice, hard.

im thinking of quitting work. i just hate the large heavy pails that i have to carry and wash, the parts of the machine that i have to carefully clean and carry around that weigh a ton! and my co-worker/s. talk about rudeness. maybe i'll talk about it in detail some other time cause im too lazy. these lifting and carrying is bad for me because i have scoliosis. my doctor and therapists advised me not to lift things that are heavy or else i will have to say hello to my new bestfriend, back brace. when i came home last night i cried. cant believe there are just people who are mean. to think i was super nice to her. ulol talaga. pinaplastic pa ako ampota. mom told me to quit. she said im not paid enough and that having myself treated will be much expensive. iniingatan daw ako tapos ganun yung mga pinapagawa sakin sa work. kumana advised me that if i were to quit, i should quit now because quitting later on wont make a difference. julio told me that if my job will instill 'permanent damages' to my body, i might as well quit. i love serving customers. i love the products. i need the money so i can keep up with my "luxuries"(haha!) and so id be able to save and go home. i just hate working late at night during schooldays. not getting paid enough. only working for 6hours(well in fact it should be 10hrs) and being tied to that job. and most of all because of my rude co-workers.

nagonline ka pa kasi, yan tuloy

2006-01-11T03:37:00.000-05:00

ang galing mo talaga eh noh... nagalingan na nga ako sa sarili ko kasi ilang days ko pinairal pride ko at hindi kita tinetext.. tapos huwaw, akalain mong online ka pala? leche.wala lahat ng pinaghirapan ko. back to square one. argh. ayaw ko pa daw makachat oh.. but eventhough im awfully tired today cause of school and work, i managed to stay online for 4 hours because i know you're online.. im trying to be cold though it's not what i really feel towards you. i want you to think that im strong. that im not affected anymore. i a big liar and the greatest pretender. i guess i dont wanna be caught off guard. na pag may move ka ulit na gawin na masasaktan ako, ok lang sakin. KUNWARI.

iba ka. apir! pakasaya ka.

para sa days na d ako nkapost, here's a long one

2006-01-09T18:14:00.000-05:00

my goals this sem:
1. bawal nang malate. always leave the house atleast 1 hour and 20mins before 1st class.at pag may blizzard, mga 2hours.
2. hindi na ako magsskip. well, except na lang kung kelangan talaga. and by kailangan, it means pag wala nang ibang lusot sa katamaran or sa pagccram.
3. screw procrastination. im gonna try to do my works kagad para hindi tatambak.
4. do homeworks on time. hoy patricia magbagong buhay ka na!
5. wag mahiyang magrecite. alamo na, kelangan magpakabayani sa mga teachers.
6. wag magkape. bawal sa tiyan ko. and nakakataba yan.
7. galingan sa paghahanap ng new friends. lalo na ngayon, wala ka manlang kilala sa kahit anong subject.
8. wag gagaya sa mga tamad na kaklase. tama. bayaan mo silang maging tamad.
9. wag matutulog sa klase. yess. first day na first day na-violate ko na to.
10. say goodbye to your bestfriend katamaran. yan ang root of all distractions ko sa school.

***

anyway, first day of school.
1 lang subject ko kanina. Qnm222 a.k.a Business Statistics.
ilan lang kami kanina? 7. nice.
hello mr. arthur guha!
eddie gil ng canada.
yes. pilukang itim.wahaha.ang sama mo trish.pero yun talaga first impression ko sakanya.ok naman sha infairness ha. walang accent. kaso nakakaantok talaga. hindi ko mapigil yung mata ko kanina. as in they were just closing. so eto yung dilemma ko, sha din kasi prof ko sa ACC220. accounting basics2. d ko tuloy alam kung magchchange ba ako ng teacher or stick with eddie gil.

TO STICK OR NOT WITH EDDIE GIL:
Pros:
-magaling naman.
-mukang responsable.
-laging may powerpoints.
-pag magaling ako sa 1 subj, shempre iisipin nya magaling din ako sa isang subj.
-hindi na ako mahahassle na i-change pa yung sked ko.

Cons:
-pag pangit performance ko sa isa, shempre affected din yung isa
-B-O-R-I-N-G. sleeping time.
ano kaya? comments naman fleez.

***

sorry naman kung bukas eh 7 hrs ako sa school. straight ha. i have two 3hr classes and a 2hr class for english i think. at eto pa, closing ako tom..my shift is from 6-9:30pm. and the next day, i have an 8am class. wooohooo! paguran ba?eto sayo!! para hindi na kita maisip!

***

before going home i decided to go to STC kasi i know wala pang tao sa house and i've got nothing to do. lakad dito, window shopping doon. muntik nanaman magshopping ang bruha! get this ha, wala na halos laman ang bangko ko pero tuloy pa din ang pagwawaldas ng pera. number 1 sakit ko talaga yan eh. shopping. kahit hindi ko masyado gusto, or hindi naman importante, bibilhin ko. tsk. muntik nko bumili ng sando--(er.sleeveless naman.) sa old navy. wala lang. gusto ko lang. lucille, i know i we have a pact na d na tayo magshshopping pero lagi akong na-tetempt. buti nlng d ko binili yung sa old navy. pero may binili pa din ako. black cords. kelangan naman yun kasi pangtrabaho. or nagpapalusot lang ako?!

***

argh. wala na akong magandang makitang winter jacket. i saw one jacket in UB pero feeling ko pang wangstah e..pero mukang ok kasi down-filled.thing is, ampangit ng design sa loob.pero naisip ko, makikita ba ng ibang tao yun?! pero kasi is ur spending $70+, might as well get something nice eh? gusto ko yung hanggang waist lang, down-filled as much as possible, may hood na may fur(landiiii!) and neutral color sana(either black, brown, white or army green) ayoko naman gumastos ng 100+ sa jacket lang. dapat binili ko na yung sa jacob's. grrr. nagsisisi tuloy ako...

***

sana may pogi naman akong classmate. para naman ganahan akong pumasok diba?hahaha! katuwaan lang. yung tutuksuhin ko sarili ko. wahaha. pero joke lang lahat, para matawa lang ako at maging conscious naman ako sa itsura ko sa class. para magsuklay naman ako o kaya gandahan ko naman pagppartner ng kulay ng damit ko. haha!

***

ay, pogi pala yung pari sa parish church namin! nung nagcommunion ako napasmile ako eh..hahaha! tapos after mass dapat makikipag shake hands ako eh kaso si mommy sa iba dumaan.argh.wahaha. joke lang Lord.

***

ano pa ba?hmm, 3 weeks nko nagwwork hindi ko pa din nalalasap ang fruits of my labour. gago tong dairy queen ah. pinaglololoko ata ako eh!

***

we're moving this month to an apartment. alam nyo na, para makatipid ng moolah! we'll be saving more/less $400 pag nagmove kami eh. and besides, we're tired of the banging party music downstairs noh. mga wagstah na toh, walang pakialam eh! at nagdodooby pa. natakot si inay kaya lipat ang katapat!!

***

ay eto pala, panalo tong kwento kong toh eh. i called him last month using our home phone. twice. ung first, 10mins lang. then yung second, 53 mins. sorry naman kung abuso ako kasi hindi ko alam na $1.74/min eh..kaya ang utang ko sa nanay ko?? a whopping $109!!! grabe. halos isang oras na tawag lang yan. try nyo i-convert. let's say C$1=P46. yesss! ang smart mo talaga patricia! sabi nga ng nanay ko singilin ko daw sha eh.duh, ako naman tumawag. haha! sabi pa ni mommy "ayan, patawag-tawag ka pa, nasira tuloy yung finals mo." true mother. true.

***

magtext ka o hindi, parehas lang. ewan ko ba. gusto ko nalang ibaon ka sa pagod. kaya go ako sa idea na pagurin ang katawan ko para wala na akong time na umiyak. ang tanga talaga eh. sana mafeel ko naman na hindi lang ikaw ang tao sa mundo. ahem! friends, nagpaparinig ako. . sana may tamaan. gusto ko madami. hehe.

ur comments, messages, testimonials(weh.) will be greatly appreciated.

magdasal kayong mga kupal na teachers

2005-12-24T14:21:00.000-05:00

screw you bitching teachers! i worked so hard for the entire sem and that's the grade ur gonna give me? tangina mo randall! parang homeroom lang ung subject mo. un ang pinaka-hassle kong subject lamo ba? kapal ng muka mong bigyan ako ng C! taena! isa ka pa eckhard! nakita mo ba lahat ng grades ko sa accounting?? A lahat! ganun ba kababa finals ko para maging C final grade ko? sana naiintindihan nyo..gusto nyo in english? fuck off!

Accounting -- C (screw you!)
Business -- A
Math -- B
Strategies ofr success -- C (fuck off old lady)
English -- B+

nakakalungkot lang kasi, the whole sem nakikita ko ung progress ko. ung grades ko matataas talaga. akala ko eto na tlga ung para sakin. bat ganon hindi pa din pala? my performance in school's the one keeping me up. kahit na gulong-gulo nko sa buhay ko, dun ko nlng binibuhos lahat. wala rin pa lang mangyayari. i didn't expect id get something that low in accounting. im good in accoounting. taena. mayabang na kung mayabang pero ang kupal kasi eh. 2 major tests, A ung grade ko pareho. sa 3 case studies, approx 26/30. sa comprehensive case, 13/15. sa group case, 86%. ano eckhard?dapat may maganda kang explanation kung bakit ako naka-C. at konting consideration naman sana. may malaking problema ako nung finals. at dun sa matandang babae na napakakupal sa grade, sana masaya ka sa ginagawa mo! sana matagal ka pang mabuhay at magpahirap sa students. hinding hindi kita kukunin sa iba kong subjects kahit anong mangyari.

grabe.hindi pa nakontento na sawi na ako sa love life ngayong pasko. binigyan pko ng bagyo.. ano pa?ano pang dadating? taena. school's the one thing i thought i was good at. un na lang pinanghahawakan ko. hindi nga ako kasing ganda ng iba. kasing talented. kasing special. school nlng ang akala kong hawak ko. wala pala. what the hell am i living for?

it's christmas eve. and once more im crying. hay Lord. help me.

all better

2005-12-21T22:10:00.000-05:00

i started my first day of 'training' yesterday at the shop. i started at around 11:30 and Shaleen taught me how to make ice cream cones. hindi ko talaga magawa at first eh. shempre nakakanerbyos. pero sabi nga try and try until you (die.weh.baduy) succeed. she also taught me how to operate the cahier register. it's so cool. so many buttons!

when Shaleen (the manager) went for her washroom break, i was left in charge. but since she only taught me how to make plain vanilla cones, the customers will have to wait til she comes back. 2 girls came:
girl 1: can i have a chocolate sundae please.
trish: oh, ok but could you wait for a sec? i dunno how to make them.
girl 2: do you have other flavours of moolatte?
trish: yes we do but u will have to wait cause i dunno how to make them. the girl just went to the washroom. she'll be back soon.
girl 1: how about blizzards?
trish: sorry. i dunno how to make that either.
girl 1: ok, ill just have a small ice cream cone.
trish: you want that plain?
girl 1: no i want it dipped.
trish: sorry. i only know how to make plain ice cream cones.
girl 1: ok, ill just have a DQ sandwich. can you get me that?
trish: yeah sure.
**tapos hinanap ko freezer yung sandwich. aba, d ko nakita! eh nagwwait yung customer. so nakakita ako nung 1 box! eh d binuksan ng bruha..tapos bumalik na si Shaleen. sabi ko gusto nya nung sandwhich. sabi nya next time wag ko daw buksan yung boxes. check ko daw muna. cause they sell the boxes for $8 something. OOOPS! aba malay ko ba noh! tapos si girl 1, nung nakita si Shaleen, ayaw na nya nung DQ sandwich. sundae nlng daw ulit.argh. fickle minded!

sa 5 hrs na pagstay ko dun, madaming nakakatawang moments akong na-witness..-there was this boy(yes.boy.mga 14 cguro) who grabbed a bag of lays then gave $1.25 to Shaleen. Shaleen: "the chips comes up to $1.38."
Boy: No. "Spanish. Spanish!"
Shaleen: "YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME A DIME" (imagine nyo nlng kung pano nya sinabi since d nga nakakaintindi yung bata ng english.)
Boy: "Spanish!"
**then the boy showed his coins and Shaleen got 13c more..funny! pano kaya kung sakin nangyari yun?ano kayang kapalpakan ang ginawa ko?!

-there was this chinese lady who wanted to buy an ice cream cake. specifically, vanilla on top and chocolate at the bottom. sa DQ, yun yung vanilla cake. cause yung chocolate cake, chocolate outside and on the top, vanilla sa bottom. and both comes with cookie crumbs and cold fudge. tapos the manager was suggesting the lady to get the vanilla cake cause that's what she wanted. aba, ang kulit nung babae. vanilla and chocolate daw gusto nya. then she was looking at me. like she was askin me to explain the whole deal. so i did. i explained to her the difference between vanilla and chocolate cake. and ayun, nagets naman nya na yung vanilla nga gusto nya. haha!

-a little boy with his grandpa. chinese. they were talking to each other in their lingo. so binayaan ko na..baka naman gusto talaga nilang magusap ng sila lang nagkakaintindihan.. then the old man goes:
"this."
sabay turo sa picture.
eh nasa labas ung picture malamang d ko nakikita.
i just assumed na yung ice cream cone.
trish: "you want the ice cream cone?"
old man: "yes."
trish: "you want the small one?"
old man gestured something so i assumed small yun.
trish: "do you want it plain or dipped?"
old man: (looking confused) "uh, uh, si" (with matching hand gestures na d ko maintindihan..si? aba, baka hindi naman sha chinese. baka french. nge!)

kung sa tingin nyo patalo ako sa DQ, sorry nlng kasi tumulong ako ng 5 hours dun, walang bayad. yes. ang cheap noh? ay meron pala, ice cream cone! haha.pero ok lang kasi gusto ko pag magwork ako d nko tatanga-tanga..mga dalawang araw pa siguro ako ganun..pero ok lang yan.. i know hard work will pay off eventually.

i adore Paulo Coelho's books. after 6 months, i actually had the courage to read "By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept." gustong gusto ko un basahin pero i know its somewhat a sad story so natakot akong basahin. oh my, eksaktong 6 months today!! i bought it last June 21. bakit alam na alam ko? 22 kasi naging kami. bleh. anyway. my brother and some of his friends got to read it before i did. at ano nang itsura ng book ko?! looks like trash now. ewan ko ba, ingat na ingat pa naman ako dun.gusto ko sakalin bigla si garri eh...as i was reading, there were several lines that struck me..eh i know i wouldn't be able to remember every page and paragraph..so yeah, i decided to underline and highlight my book. sabi naman ni Doug Hunt samin (lucille, hindi donut ung pronunciation nyan.haha) if your books has scribbles all over it, then you can say that you really read and understood your material. na may bond na between you and the book. im gonna post my fave lines here maybe tomorrow or sa isang araw. gusto ko ipabasa kay miguel yung book. cause as you know, it tells you everything about taking risks. na you'll only be able to witness life's miracles if you let the unknown/unexpected to happen. it also speaks about love and the taking chances. there's a chance you'll get hurt but there's more to it than just that. i wish there was someway he could read it. please, tell him to read it.

i also wanna read the alchemist. oo na, ang loser ko pero d ko pa nababasa yun eh..adele told me to read it cause maybe i can find some answers to my questions on why he 'left'. somewhere in the story the guy there met a girl daw. the girl told him to follow his dreams first. if it's meant and if it's true love that they have, the guy will still look for her after achieving what he wants in life. or something like that. the girl didn't want to be that wall that stopped this guy from achieving his dreams. hindi ako sure sa mga sinasabi ko kasi nga d ko pa nababasa but yeah, somewhat like that. i can still remember him telling me over and over to fulfill my goals here and not think of him cause he'll be fine and he won't go anywhere. so baka yun yung message na pinaparating nya sakin?! i dunno.

correction

2005-12-15T05:22:00.000-05:00

correction. "good" "special" friends.

staggered thoughts

2005-12-15T01:52:00.000-05:00

hey everyone! you're all invited to my funeral on sunday.
kanya-kanyang pamasahe nlng.
bleh.
this is my third death in 19 years.
ano pang susunod?!

in my previous post i seemed fine.
but guess what?
my eyes are so effed up.
tried to divert my attention to other things i love.
yes lae, i shopped.
but nothing happened.
i didn't feel any better.
i've been crying since yesterday.
not just sobbing.
im on my second box of tissue today.
i feel so dead inside and out.
i don't care if this entry will end up bull.
my hands simply type what my heart feels without thinking.

i had my finals in business a while ago.
yes.
right timing eh?

when i was taking a shower this morning, i wailed.
i thought nobody will hear my immense suffering.
but no, SURPRISE! my dad did.
he knocked.
"umiiyak ka ba?"
"hindi."
"bakit parang umiiyak ka?"
"sinisipon lang."

when i got to class, alex, as usual hit me as his gesture of saying hi.
and i hit him back. hard.
sorry alex.
i didn't know it was that hard.
jess said i look angry or that's something's wrong with me.
"is it a man problem? screw him."

i have chinky eyes now.
now people will really think im chinese.

i haven't "eaten" for a day now.
the last thing i ate was arby's fries and junior burger yesterday at around 3pm.
i didn't eat dinner eventhough it's my fave, sinigang.
i didn't eat breakfast nor lunch.
i only had 2 pieces of gum.
no water intake.
not even dinner tonight.
im not hungry.
but im acidic.
nothing has happened to me. yet.
i sneaked a piece of cookie.
few pieces of nuts.
bottled water
that's it.

i'm a cry baby.
i cry like a kid lost in the mall.
i hope solving this is as easy as going to the customer service.
can i wish for happiness this christmas?

questions in my mind.....
which role in your life do u want me to play?
your lover?
or just your friend?
san ako lulugar?
how long will you be there for me?
pano pag may nakita kang iba?
i dont want to be left hanging.
do u really love me?
honestly, do u like somebody else?
will you look for other girls now?
san ako nagkulang?
what can i do to win you back?
wasn't i good enough?
did i fail you in any way?
kala ko ba i need not worry cause you'll wait for me?
i don't want to move on.
i want you in my life.
nasan na ung promise natin dati?
can't we fix this?
i don't know what to say anymore.
or even what to feel.
wala nang energy yung body ko.
ubos na.

i was planning to go home pa naman this summer.
if matuloy ako, see u na lang..

good stuff comes with heartaches

2005-12-13T23:37:00.000-05:00

be positive. i have a lot to be thankful for today.

"you're a good writer" -Doug Hunt
yeah that's my english teacher, actually told me that. just when i thought i can't write eh? he is a great teacher. i learned a lot from him. im just so shy to show my face to him coz my finals is full of bull. it's the worst paper i've written in class. i had mental block for an hour and i had to rush the 800-word essay for the last hour. i feel so bad that he'll be disappointed.

im a dairy queen. yes. the ice cream shop. not yet officially though. shaheen's gonna "introduce" me to the workplace next monday/tuesday..and proally start working then.not much pay but yeah it'll keep me busy. and besides, i love dairy queen. hey, its just now that i realized that its my dream come true. i remembered that when i was a kid, i dreamed to be an ice cream vendor aka sorbetero so its good. and ill be working 3-4 hours a day?but not 5 days, maybe 2 days a week only but its better than doing nothing eh?

and then revenge battles it way in..

break up..or not? nothing will change. pero hindi na kami officially?so, open relationship?i dont understand. or maybe i do but im just indenial. did i get heartbroken? of course. i started doubting myself. where did i go wrong? were the things i did for him not enough? is he gonna look for other girls now? yes. my brain, eaten up by my paranoia. the brain that wrote all the fab essays that impressed Doug Hunt. i feel so weak. i love him. he told me he loves me too. its just that were far from each other and we havent actually set things. yeah, maybe its hard to stay in a relationship and not know where you're heading. the feeling of attachment might even kill our feelings. i asked him what things i can do to win him back. he said none cause things wont change. we'll still do same stuff and be special to one another. leave things that way. when i come back, that's when we plan out things. i didn't think that this will actually happen. the mere thought of us breaking up was like the end of the world, and so i thought..but it's not. i prayed that if ever we had to breakup, id be able to handle it. and i did. that made me realize that it's not selfish love love that i have for him but rather, unconditional. i love him that much that if he thinks breaking up is the best thing to do, id let him go. selfless love is letting your loved one go if he's not happy anymore. and i did. but in our case, we're not breaking up. we've just decided to lie-low(wtf is the spelling?!) on our relationship to avoid falling out of love. yeah yeah, to u its bull. well maybe. but if u were in our situation, thinking maturely and all, you'd prolly do the same. i called him after agreeing on things over text. tried to talk to him like nothing happened but i wasn't able to help it. i cried. yeah so what's new?! thing is, he told me things'll be the same for us. we'd still be there for each other. our love will be there. according to him it's not a break up. a rest(?) will be the more appropriate word to describe it. who knows? maybe we'd still end up together. wait, but we are still together. but we don't call ourselves that. but we are. gulo. but as long as we understand each other i think things will be ok. hopefully we can get over this thing. sad thing is, we were supposed to celebrate our 6th 9 days from now. wait, we still might do that. whatever. i don't care anymore. he told me he's not scared that he said those things to me cause he knows nothing'll change. well, i really hope so. im still hoping things will be fixed and everything will fall to where it should be. how can something so right not work? it just feels so right. him and me. i dunno why it wouldn't work. maybe it's one of our trials. please Lord u know how much i love him. i hope he is the right one. if he's not, it will be very hard for me and id prolly beg you to make him be the right one. prayers will definitely help me. can i just quote my dearest friend camy? i already met the HIM. im thankful that i did. and he will always be part of my life.... even if we become each others' past. God, give me the strength to do all things according to your will.

Nyoy Volante's you're my you
....you're everything
This foolish heart could ever define
Every wish, every dream, every prayer come true
I feel so blessed to call you mine(???)

don't care to read. not worth ur time. PMS thing.

2005-11-25T17:38:00.000-05:00

nakakasawa nang magtampo, magalit..alam mo napapagod din ako...magagalit ako tapos ako din naman ung iiyak..

naghintay ako ng txt mo..wala.so inintindi ko nlng.baka pagod o kaya nasa work.d pala. screw harry potter! tapos ako pa tatanungin kung bakit d ako nagttxt? nagkulang ba ako?magmamatigas ako na d ka itxt pero when i finally decide to txt u and ikaw naman d magreply ako ung hindi mapakali...

gusto malaman kung bakit d ako nagreply?well, first of all wala akong load.pero bumili ako..gusto ko nanag pigilan ung sama ng loob na naffeel ko..ayoko nang sabihin sayo..baka sabihin mo lagi nlng.pero masisisi ba kita kung totoo?oo sakit ko toh eh..emotional tlga ako.iyakin.tampururot.call it whatever u want.but it's me..and i am trying to change cause i know its not nice...hayy.give me time.

siguro i expect too much?na gusto ko ung time na i devote for u ganun din ung gusto kong time na dndevote mo sakin..pero narealize ko dn hindi naman dapat. stubborn ako. alam ko. sinabi mo na sakin.

mga isang roll nlng ng tissue ok na din ako.. im writing this now so when i post it, wala na...so sa mga nakakabasa ngayon na gusto na akong ichismis wala akong pakialam sainyo.joke lang.peace.

--xx wala lang toh, naisip ko lang.ano kaya mas masakit para sakin, ung break-an ako or cheat-an? random thoughts. xx--

hanapin mo naman ako...nawawala na ako..save me from all these shananigans. please.

the marshmallow makes it soo damn perfect

2005-11-22T00:05:00.000-05:00

i brushed my teeth. washed my face. changed my clothes. i was ready to go to sleep. but well, i decided to check my friendster.. after hoping on random people's accounts, i came across the coffee shop's account. *see he works there* and i saw some pictures of him. so adorable. made me wanna go home talaga.. how can someone resist that angelic face?haha. pagbigyan nyo na ako, lovesick na eh.. i ended up browsing our pictures which of course i kept to myself. i wanna tell the world how much i love and treasure you. but it's not yet time.. and when the right time comes, everything will be fine and good. it doesn't matter anyway. the world need not know how much i love you and that we love each other. i couldn't ask for anything more. having you makes everything seem so damn perfect. 5 and counting. ÜÜÜ

november 13

2005-11-14T01:10:00.000-05:00

happy birthday to my dearest sister!!

yesterday was a blast..with all the people (and did i mention food?) around! family friends from morong and our neighbors filled the house..too bad july and lucille weren't able to make it..ok lang guys.sayang, namiss nyo nga lang lahat ng food..haha! though d ko malasahan un mga kinakain ko but i bet masarap lahat.Ü

earlier that day, i was dressing up for tim's celebration..i tried my pants from SYC-size 25...it won't close!! i felt bad..ok, so ang feeling ko naman na magkakasya pa yung 25.so i changed to my size 27 hang ten pants which i wore two weeks ago..i nearly broke down to tears because i can't zip it...depression mode again..i was on the verge of crying but i suddenly snapped because i remembered seeing one of my long sleeved tops that morning..it wasn't in its original size..it shrunk because it had been in and out of our dryer for several times.. then i heard angels playing harps..(ngek exag!) could it be that there's still hope? that yeah, sure i've really gained weight but not to the point that half of my wardrobe won't fit me anymore..i asked a bunch of people if it's possible for jeans to shrink..YES! thank God, there's still a tinge of hope left! although i got pissed cause mom and dad kept pickin on me yesterday..saying im fat and all and stop eating already...nakakainis! then siguro naisip ni mom na nahuhurt nko, sabi nya i shouldn't worry that much with how i look.no more diets for me as long as im happy. bleh. of course i won't be happy if i don't get thinner..

we went shopping today! alam nyo na, rich si tim, birthday eh! nka $100 ba naman! hahaha! can't use my debit anymore...i think it only has $50, or even less...money! yoohoo! only 2 months before my birthday..haha!

haberday ken

2005-11-11T10:46:00.000-05:00

im in school..haha! 3hours from my next class..but im meeting my groupmates in acc in about an hour from now..and i still haven't read the case!!!man im toast!! and at 12:30 we have to write and in class paragraph in english...of course i wanna do good it in.wanna maintain my winning streak! wahahaha!

im goin home straight today!Ü i wanna wanna call my friends! it has been a long time since i called someone in the phil..i wanna talk to miggy too..i miss him.hehe. it's ken's birthday today! yahoowee! harhar! may party ang bruha! akala mo nagttrabaho para magkaron ng pang tustos sa inuman! hahaha! it's my sister's birthday on sunday!! yipee! haberday timmy!! she's gonna have a party tom at our haunted house.. =p sa mga pupunta, sorry nlng kayo pero sariling bitbit ng upuan kung di tatayo kayo..hehehe! nakoo baka mabored ung mga tao samin...eh wala talagang magagawa dun eh! iniisip ko nga bumili ng monopoly or something..alam mo na, entertain ur guests! nakoo napakadumi pa naman sa bahay namin.. argh.it means i have to clean? nooo.....!!!

ok ive got 30 mins to read the case and finish my online lessons..lol. toodles!

2005-11-06T01:13:00.000-05:00

lucille anne garcia happy birthday!!!

lucille, martin, me and july went to yonge yesterday and we had dinner at this korean resto..we ate kamjaktan(sorry dunno the spelling..basta ganyan ung pronounciation!haha!) it was soo dark inside the place and some chinese were laughin at us..bakit hindi ba kami marunong magchopsticks? the food was great but lucille and july felt sick after we ate..maybe it was too dark inside?anyway, we walked into a tea shop after but we ended up running.. kasi naman, hindi pala kakain, pumasok pa kami, at nagpareserve pa ng tables! haha! we ate oreo capuccino in mcdonalds..yum! and we laughed our hearts out with "trick or threat" and "trimp or trip" which was supposed to be trick or treat...haha! hinatid namin si july sa finch station at dahil late na nun, wala na ung bus na sasakyan ko.. impromptu sleepover kina lucille! yay! haha..we tried watching dreamboy (yes, bea and piolo) but we were too tired..si tita nlng tumapos nung movie...paggising namin super sabog-- as you can see in our picture above! yes lucille, i know i promised u na d ko ipopost..haha! pero i have to put something! eh d pa inuupload ni july..haha.

bruha ka, happy birthday! salamat sa libre!! eto mushy: pero ikaw un heaven-sent friend ko na binigay ni God para mas madali akong makapagadjust dito...thank you sa lahat! at sa muli pa nating mga adventure sa buhay! ano, kamusta ung kanina?sikat ka na ba??kami nila july and martin groupie mo!haha!

my emotional struggle

2005-11-03T09:32:00.000-05:00

112..that's the magical number that the weighing scale gave me...i couldn't believe it...like i could've died..i gained 14 lbs here in 4 months..when i left the Philippines i only weighed around 98..grabe..dagdag sa emotional struggle ko nanaman toh..i have to lose atleast 10lbs before i go home..maybe 5 or 7 before my birthday...and my birthday is in 2 months!

am i turning into 'john'? sabi ko kasi before he was not living his life there, always wishing he could go home...and mandi's telling me im acting like he did.and im always saying no, this is different..pero baka naman parehas na nga kami?yes, im doin great in school..getting A's and B's and maybe one stray C..far better than what i got when i studied in La Salle..cause i challenged myself to do good..but is that my only life here?pero that's what i said to myself eh..im here to study.that's it..no other business..and it's coming true..well,i really don't mind..i don't like to mingle with lots of people here..i want my peers to be few and close to me..this is a different trisha now.different from the one who lived a bubbly life,making as many friends as she can..and kung dati sobrang gala ako, ngayon once in a blue moon nlng..and i only go to malls or sa downtown, maglalakad lang sa yonge st...i wanna go home..if a genie will appear next to me now, that's what im gonna wish for...i can't explain what im feeling right now...sobrang bigat..as i write this entry tears just keep crawling down my cheeks..feeling ko ang hopeless ko..yeah im gonna finish my college and get my diploma..it's my only goal right now...what am i gonna do after??? of course im still considering goin to university to be a CGA..but im not in a hurry to get that.it can always wait..mommy always tells us na we're here to have a better life...but what if my life's not here?what if it's back home?

my vote goes to kyle

2005-10-27T22:15:00.000-04:00

i was disappointed by the decision of the judges last night in america's next top model...they voted out kyle..they said she had all the potentials but she didn't have the drive.. i dont think so..for the past weeks she has really been excelling..in fact last week she was the girl who performed the tasks best..this week, she wasn't that bad either..the other girls even thought she was gorgeous at the photoshoot and got envy at her...i don't understand why she was picked to go..it could've been bre because she was not improving and her photos were dull..or nicole because she had no attitude underneath that pretty face..i think the judges made the biggest mistake of sending her home..for me, kyle is the next america's next top model..woohoo!

teka, bat ba ako affected??haha! i just love her!

so many questions in mind

2005-10-26T03:05:00.000-04:00

it's friggin 3:30 am here and im up doin nothing...just thinking...and thinking makes me sad..

when a person says he doesn't want you to be involved with his problems does that mean he doesn't want to share his life with you?

these past few days i was so happy with our relationship and i felt so loved.Ü but last night we talked about a bunch of things..then we talked about him doin all the chores at home..i wanted to help him.but duh.how?sabi nya ayaw daw nya akong madamay sa mga problema nya..what?i'm his girlfriend, am i not?so we should share our thingys with each other..i'd like to be a part of it and try to make things easier for him...i wanna be there for him not only during the happy times but during the bad times as well..pero sabi nya ayaw nya na problemahin ko sha when someday i make it big...baka daw ikahiya ko sha..what the?shempre napraning nanaman ako..am i not worthy to be a part of his life? am i not worthy to know and be the one whom share his problems with?does he still have doubts about us and our future?can't he see his future with me?

or maybe im just over reacting...

online labs suck. or maybe it's me?

2005-10-18T21:46:00.000-04:00

man i really lost it....after whining over the 4/25 online lab4 because it closed at 12am, i missed the next lab worth 15 points because it was due last sunday! how could i miss it????now i already have minus 40 on all my labs...how will i get an A with that??the online labs are worth 20% of the grade! man! and i thought i was doin good on my math...i suck.

ang saya ko pa naman kanina.. wehehe. XD alam na!haha!

sick

2005-10-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

im soo friggin' sick...man! hindi na nga ako nkapagmass eh..and i have to study for my midterms.ugh.

thanksgiving pictures

2005-10-11T01:30:00.000-04:00

breathe ur last breath u friggin b*tches!!

2005-10-03T07:05:00.000-04:00

3rd night. this is actually the 3rd night wherein i felt agony the moment that i woke up. umuwi daw ako ng pilipinas. basta december break..i even met up with pauline and her family. and shempre mawawala ba sa dream na kasama ko si mig?duh.yun ung pinakanakakainis dun eh!grr..

another monday morning for me....shleep.......

cold! brrrr....

2005-09-28T00:00:00.000-04:00

it is soo frickin cold!! fall is just starting yet i can feel my cells dying! this missy can't handle cold weather very well..mamamatay ako! know what im wearing now? a sleeveless top, a t-shirt, an oversized sweater, *knickers*(of course!), shorts, pjs and socks..man! can u just imagine kung gano kagastos toh sa damit! haha!Ü can't even concentrate reviewing for my friggin test tom coz i have to blow my nose once in a while..plus the headache and and heavy feeling that comes with it..

so this is how u look when i gets cold eh?!

super lamig...ay, kawawa..

and catching a cold..

so, jipjopper na ba ang outfit ko?! cool nko dba?!wahaha

2005-09-25T21:54:00.000-04:00

i am soo bad.i should be starting my homework or helping 'timmy' do hers but i ended up checkin my bf's ex in myspace..argh.soo bad.waste of time! better get to work!

cheesy me

2005-09-22T11:28:00.000-04:00

it was not such a long time ago when i wrote about us..yay, 3 months and counting!Ü

naniniwala nko na kelangan give and take sa relationship...hindi pwedeng parehas kayong matino sa isang picture!hahaÜ

i stayed up late last night thinking and scribbling about the stuff i wanna tell him..i even cried..i tried to be a poet but after burning my butt for sometime, i gave up. i am just not one..my words wouldn't give justice to my feelings for him..i wanted to tell him how much i love i have..i can't explain how grateful i am that God gave me someone so wonderful that i don't think i even deserve..and that i am so thankful i am that he is always behaving for me. that he always puts up with my kapraningans and topak. most of all for staying with me in this relationship and loving me though we are faced with this tough situation..he is the reason why i smile even if im experiencing difficult times..the same reason why i cry when i think of how much i miss him. he is my strength that keeps me going. my motivation do good in my studies and be a better person. he's my angel. mine. i tried quoting movie lines and songs to make my message more sweet and romantic but i ended up my doing my thing--crappy and corny. "my baloney message hollers that before you came to me, my life was dull. thanks for making it sparkle. i love you" after some long hours of brainstorming of what i wanted to say, that was the only thing that came out..didn't do justice just as i suspected..but i hope one day you'd be able to read this.. i dunno when or how but i hope you do. i'll never let go. i love you.

it's also leah's special day. happy birthday.

our monthsary thing..it just never fails!

2005-09-21T01:06:00.000-04:00

for three months now, the date thingy has always been an issue.. haha. funny. so cute.Ü

he texts me:
"trish... ano date ngyn? hehehe!ÜÜÜ gcing ka pa?"

then i answer:
"miguel, 21 ngyn.. 21 nlng ba tyo?Ü"

he replies:
"ay, hndi b pag 21 dto 22 dyan? or baliktad?Ü"

then i go:
"mas late kme ng 12hrs baby.Ü heheÜ i luv u!Ü"
(oo na yuck.kadiri ang mushy.pero gusto ko exact eh.haha)

then he retorts:
"wah!!! ang tanga ko! o sya pnta nko training, bukas na lng kta greet.Ü slip na ha.Ü mwah! luv u!"

i reply:
"kala ko ichchange ntn ult un date ntn..ok lng nmn skn.hahaÜ gwa pko hw eh.txt kta b4 ako mgslp. gudluck!Ü tc ok? luv u miguel!Ü mwah!"

are u having too much of this?i don't care! i think it's cute. wahahah!Ü

2005-09-19T00:47:00.000-04:00

while cooling down after my tiring exercise this evening, i rested on my bed listening to my "kilig playlist" on my ipod..then the intro of tell me where it hurts by MYMP started playing..i changed the song cause im too scared to think of him and feel sad..but then i decided to play it..the i started singing...a few lines after, i heard miguel's voice singing..then tears crawled down from my cheeks.. it's been weeks since i last cried. i miss him. it's not really our theme song but before there's this girl that he likes and there was a time when he was feeling down cause of her then i told him that im dedicating 'tell me where it hurts' for him..and it started there..we would always watch the myx countdown and it's always the #1 song.. i miss my baby. i hope to see him really soon...

miguel and me last may - gateway -

and so kung kamuka ka nga ni heart..humanap ka ng boyfriend mo..wag ung taken na..bawal ang epal sa mundo

2005-09-12T22:32:00.000-04:00

i had a tough day today..language barrier.oo na, nahihirapan ako minsan intindihin ung english nila..like un teacher kong itim kanina..may tinatanong sha eh i wasn't paying attention kasi d ko maintindihan! tapos bigla ba naman akong tinawag! and i was completely lost! i didn't know what he was askin..only to find out na master na master ko yung sagot dun!! darn.will i survive school with this condition?argh.sobrang dami nya pang assignments for us...darn talaga! im sooo stressed. i was with kumar and alex kanina pauwi..i wanna be friendly pero they were all over..pupunta akong bookstore, pupunta dn sila...at naglakad pa sila all the way to don mills-finch bus stop..feeling ko may tail ako..nyahah.evil.pero they're really nice..sobra.kaso naisip ko yung slogan ko,(nyak!) na boys are immature and i dont like their thoughts on women..hay nako, i dunno if u guys get me. well whatever.i have to finish this coz im gonna kill somebody now.sleep.sleep.sleep.

2005-09-11T21:29:00.000-04:00

my forecast for today. naks. i really dont rely on it but it boosts me up.. here:

You exude self-assurance both in love and work. In fact, prospects in both areas look so inviting that you can afford to hold out for the best and nothing else. After all, aren't you worth it? Absolutely.

2005-09-09T20:43:00.000-04:00

my first week in school went out fine. yes, fine. not good but not so bad either. atleast now, i have something to do, not just bum around our house and feast in calories..

i have a classmate named kumar i think in 2 or 3 subjects and yeah sure 'pana' sha..i can remember he was the first ever to talk to me in school..he's my classmate in ICA and in ACC120 and he really likes to butt in whenever a teacher says something..annoying.ayoko pa naman ng ganun, yung sabat ng sabat! oo na magaling ka na, shut up! haha mean! but after ACC he passed by me and said 'see you later trisha!' at first it made me laugh but later on i felt good coz he told me that..

i talked to s few people this week---
1. debbie who was born here, her dad is from vietnam and mom from hong kong so it makes her a *tanananan* torontonian?haha!Ü or maybe a 'kanejan'!Ü
2. alex- he looks like a filipino but i guess he's chinese..also born here
3. coleman- chinese who's born here..very soft spoken
4. kumar- yeah u know bout him
5. jess - met her this morning during our boring bus class which was 8 in the morning!!

anyway, today was a very tiring day for me..i tried to get up at 5am. but i wasn't able to do so. i was able to get out of bed at around 6 and with that, i was already running late for my schedule! see, i always have to get up atleast 3 hours before my class..coz i spend 1 1/2 hrs taking a shower, dressing up, eating and preparing my stuff and the other 1 1/2 for my travel..but ya know, i was able to catch up with my schedule!i finished dressing up and everything by 6:30am coz i had to move really fast because it is soooo cold! parang ayoko na nga maligo nun eh! pano pa pag nagwinter?! when i was about to leave, mommy woke up and insisted that she'll make me a sandwich..ok so i did wait for it.i dont want to spend a few bucks for lunch! and i was able to leave home by 7am! but guess what?i still made it in time for class! and mr tripp said that he doesn't care about attendance or that if we go for coffee breaks! kewl! my next subj was math..and i wasn't talking to anyone. not a single soul! kasi naman napakaseryoso nilang lahat! sobrang tutok sa ginagawa..well i was concentrating too! though i didn't have much resources like the book, a calcu and binder...ay kawawa naman ang bata...pero i did well. i was like grabbing on to a branch to see the overlooking though. but still i was able to see a glimpse and enjoy it! after that class, i had a 1 hour lunch break..i didn't know where to go, i had no one and all cafes were crowded! and i remembered that i forgot to grab my bottled water at home and i had to get one! guess how much is it sa vendo? $1.75! man that's a lot! and that's not even the worst part yet..i had no where to go! i was like lindsay lohan in mean girls! kulang na lang kumain ako sa washroom! (thanks lucille for the idea) but then, luckily(er, i dunno if i should say that) i found a spot just across tim hortons near the bookstore which was badly located under the stairs..but i had to sit down! i was tired and hungry..and so i did!Ü i don't care about what these people will think. bakit ba eh pagod nko eh..my last subject was english..my teacher looked sloppy dressed in polo and shorts!but he really seemed nice..and smart too. too bad i have a bad feeling bout this subject. ikaw ba naman, lahat halos ng classmates mo matatanda na! they seem to be like my dad's age! and im not exagerating! im really insecure and araid that i won't do good in this but i hope i do...i wanna get high marks! new life for u trisha.anyway, met up with july today..sooo happy to have a friend in school that ur at ease with..shempre filipino friend and he seems really nice and fun and he is! also, lucille came over cause we had to meet with ryan, hari ng kapreskuhan! sorry naman pero ang yabang talaga nya..it's in his nature lucille said..i message ka ba naman ng "ur hot" i was like, "nice one!" and the whole time that we talked sa ym he was insisting that after a few months ill change and look for somebody else. sorry! i won't! he even asked me out! wtf?coz he's like that...feeling nya lahat ng babae kelangan dumaan sa kanya! please?! knowing him gives me more reasons to hate boys! he was telling me that if my boyfriend's really the one, why isn't he with me? then i said he is! darn. pwede, wag makialam sa love life ng may love life?! to think may girlfriend sha ha! nako, he really scares me! he's too proud that he changed and that he has adapted 'kanejan' ways...sorry!im still proud to have my Filipino values man! doesn't mean that u should forget bout ur values coz ur here! suck big time! he kept tellin stories about his girls and the 'activities' he had with girls there especially with blondes..i even remembered him telling july "nako, ikaw atenista ka pa naman! kelangan matuto ka..yung parang paglaruan mo lang sila" hello?er, may mga babae kasi sa room? he even showed us his big scroll of condoms and quoting him "mahaba to! magnum!" yeah?hell do we care! but oh well, i have to give that guy some credit..he's nice though he's 'kanejan' in ways and that he's really presko! and i mean big time!haha..he's nice pa rin naman..thanks ryan though wasn't able to get anything from you..haha.me and july lined up at the bookstore! i was only able to buy 2 books. guess how much? $200! converting it to peso, it's more than 9000! oh my. 2 books. 9 grand. whoa! back in la salle i was too hard on (er, let;s put it in a more positive way, 'thrifty')to buy books that cost only P300! and now here i am buying books that cost more than P4000 each! and get this, i still have to buy around 3 more books on monday! after buying our books made out of gold, hahahha! july and i decided to visit lucille in her work..haha.yeah we did.twas fun! we laughed the whole time! i miss being with friends, chillin out and just having fun...but i was tired, carrying the hardbound books around fairview mall..

here i am so determined to do good in school and it happens again (courtesy of ryan, thank you very much!) someone telling me that id give up on the course sooner or later! just when i thought that id really be patient on the program! thank you for letting me down! now im having doubts again..it was what happened in la salle, when i talked to kit 2 years ago...it really instilled something negative in my brain. that the course was too tough and that id shift out. and it did.. too bad for me..but i hope this time things will turn out just fine..i want it to! i want to show my mom that im doing well in school..i wanna make them both happy and proud!
who knows what my reward might be?a plane ticket!Ü i just have to step up my game!

miggy's still sick..poor baby..get well soon sweetie! kees!

2005-09-05T00:34:00.000-04:00

i hate boys. all of them. even my friends. they are so immature. like they treat every girl as their prospect. sa lahat ng babae gusto makachancing! pwede ba?! get a life! get lost! like you can't trust anymore! grr! i hate boys. (well, that excludes my boyfriend of course!)im so pissed right now. i am officially a man-hater. who want's to join the club?

anyway, we had a 'little' fight again which made me go nuts!!
excerpts from our conversation, again:

miguel: trish, i really have to go na... hehe... malaki na bill ko babypatty_gon09: ok..sorrypatty_gon09: magpayaman ka nga!patty_gon09: magsulat ka ng luv stories..ung mga binabasa ng masa! malaki bayad dun!miguel: its ok... nyak??? magpayaman? yayaman ako! sama mo parang sinasabi wala akong kwentapatty_gon09: hahaahpatty_gon09: hindipatty_gon09: magaling ka magsulat dba?miguel: sama mo...patty_gon09: kasi ittry ko magsulat pero d ako magalingpatty_gon09: baka d ako bumentapatty_gon09: hahamiguel: sori ha, kasi mababaw lang kaligayahan ko saka nasanay ako sa "simple life" and i dont think money is a measurement for a thing or for someone...patty_gon09: they pay like 12-30k for a story! not bad eh?sabi ni amanda gumawa daw ako para may pambili ng plane farepatty_gon09: huymiguel: ano...patty_gon09: wag ka naman magalitpatty_gon09: nagjjoke lang ako miguel: hindi ako galit, sige ill help you sa story.. just tell me what kind of story...patty_gon09: d mo nnmn ngets ung punchline komiguel: if ur looking for a rich guy, lahat naman eh... go aheadpatty_gon09: hehehepatty_gon09: what???!patty_gon09: ay nakomiguel: basta ewan, nasabaw nakopatty_gon09: nooopatty_gon09: ano ka bapatty_gon09: sinasabi ko lang na magsulat ka dn ng luvstory coz they pay u for it..i wanted it to sound like a joke,baka kasi pag tawanan mkopatty_gon09: u got it the wrong way naman...ganun na ba ako kapangit magjoke?iba yung lumalabas na meaning?!sorry baby, my badmiguel: okie, im gonna write something pero pagnakuha ung story, sayo lang yung money. di ko kelangan. wag ka magsorry di naman ako galit eh, nasabaw langpatty_gon09: what?!?patty_gon09: noooopatty_gon09: do u know what ur saying?miguel: yeahpatty_gon09: nahuhurt nko..hindi naman talaga yun ung sinasabi ko ehpatty_gon09: miguel naman ehmiguel: i know.. sorry din... o sya stop na nga... sorry din baby... luv you...patty_gon09: nako, naiiyak nko..hahapatty_gon09: sorry mali intindi mo sa sinabi komiguel: hehehehe! wag ka na maiyak... sorry na.. well, i have to go na.. ok lang yun, sorry din. patty_gon09: sorry..miguel: sorry din

---like hello?what i was saying lang was we could write stories so we can have money..nahurt talaga ako ha! hindi ako mukang pera! but i know naguluhan lang din sha..he said we're all good na..but im gonna call him later! i don't want him thinking bout stuff na hindi naman! yes i know, mababaw talaga kami! haha!

tennis fanatic

2005-09-03T16:27:00.000-04:00

i just watched blake and nadal's game... and the unexpected happened! blake won in the 4th set..i pity nadal cause he's really good. maybe the crowd really mattered..

justin henin-hardenne is still in the competition! yay! i like her..dunno why..and yeah of course maria sharapova..yesterday or i think the other day i watched venus williams vs daniella hantuchova(i love her name) and venus' dress looked eww.haha! it was a lavender dress with glitters/sequins or something..she looked like she was goin to a party!haha!

and of course the saddest story in the US Open is andy's defeat..he lost in the first round to muller..3 sets, all tie breakers!plus, he lost on his 23rd birthday...too bad..anyway, goodluck nest year andy...sorry din =(

2005-09-03T02:12:00.000-04:00

things i ate today:
-luncheon meat with rice
-banana fritter (tim hortons)
-bacon n cheddar meal (arby's)
-slice of pepperoni pizza
-fruit punch
-apple fritter and iced cap (tim's again!)
-aero chocolate bar
-adobo with rice
whew! at sinong nagsabi na nagddiet ako?!

i was so bugnutin the entire day! i was easily irritated, couln't hide it...it started when the registration asked me to come to school 9am in the morning on tuesday so i can fix my time table...i don't want to go there that early! my class starts at 3!! what will i do for 6 freakin hours?then the list continued.......

the only thing that made me stop is when he texted me around 4:30pm here, am there, though i shouldn't be that happy cause he went home late(er, morning na nga eh)..but ya know, he makes me smile! he's sooo mabait at masipag! imagine, he went home super late and if that was me, i would've slept immediately..but no! he cleaned up before goin to bed! nahiya naman ako sa sarili ko..kama ko nga di ko maayos eh!hahaha!Ü plus he told me that he behaved.and he always does coz he loves me...*blush* haha!cheesy!!

we had to window shop for ingrid's birthday present! (happy birthday ingrid!!) we wanted to give her a perfume but they have huge sizes and it's expensive so we just bought her a body mist and 2 lip balms from body shop...gawd, i love lacoste's a touch of pink!!! but it's too expensive! $72+tax!but i really want that...i told my sibs to give it to me on my birthday! hah! as if!!! anyway, i still have more than half of my clinique happy..that'll do..i don't have to worry about that actually..wala naman dito yung gusto ko makaamoy sakin eh! hahaha! but yeah i realized that..i don't fix myself here..like, pwede na kahit ano.. like i only brush my hair once, and i don't care about my hair.. i don't wear make up anymore...it doesn't matter cause miggy won't see me anyways..haha! and im not really that bothered that im gaining lotsa weight cause im not goin home anytime soon and he won't see me! haha..but if im goin home this christmas, and i hope i do, i better start thinking!!hahaÜ

anyway, i have to sleep now cause it's josh's bday (happy bday josh!!) and they'll be goin to his house later! i wanna wake up early then buy a card then id call them...i miss them all soo much! and the memories in josh's house! *grin* hahaÜ naiinggit tuloy ako! i wanna goo hooooommmeeee!!!!!

might go out tomorrow..ontario place?i dunno.

goodluck on ur test tom lucille! sana nagaral ka!haha

naaalala ko lang.
nung nagahhanap kami ng perfume, may lalaking 'pana' na lumapit sakin, ineendorse yung perfume na hawak nya! at ang brand? baby phat. hear that lucille?? hahaha!! pwede?mga tatlong beses ata sha lumapit sakin eh! wala nga akong pera! ano bang gusto mo?at kahit may pera ako, sa tingin mo bibilhin ko yan?

pictures from ej's bday bash

2005-09-01T00:57:00.000-04:00

*pictures of me and rosa* (again! i love her!)

*at the party*

*tim and me*

me of course!hahaha

2005-08-23T02:27:00.000-04:00

happy birthday to my dad! he's now officially a year past the golden age!

i got my accpetance form from seneca and i've paid my tuition..i just have to book my sched for my mat5h and english placement tests..got my time tables too..i don't like my schedule..they were the ones who fixed it for me. almost all my subjects are in the afternoon except for friday..and i have school for the whole week..ngayon pa lang i feel stressed na..i still have to squeeze in 7 hours in my time table..3 hours english and 4 hours math..darn.school hasn't started pero stressed nko.. oh.it's ACF(accounting and finance).

a few minutes ago i tried editing the resume that lucille gave me..mom tried to help me and suddenly i was so irritated and bugnutin..if that's the right term! i dunno why..no reason at all..these past few days, napakabugnutin at napakamabilis mainis kahit na alam ko naman na walang may kasalanan..is it because magakakaron na ang bruha?gotta sleep.have to shake off this annoying feeling.

yay..2 months down!

2005-08-22T02:26:00.000-04:00

it's officially our 2nd month today!Ü i know miggy's really bad when it comes to dates..i just figured it out coz he before he asked me twice when my birthday was!haha..and when we were chatting a while ago, i wanted him to be the first one to greet me! but he didn't..so i changed my status to "for your next birthday, i will give u a calendar!" but i didn't say directly that it was for him..still, no reaction..just before he was about to sign out, i buzzed him..

patty_gon09: miguel, i have tons of calendars here..do u want some?
miguel: huh? hahaha! calendars?
miguel: ah hehee... oi sign out nako. hehehe! grabe here ginto
patty_gon09: teka..gusto mo ba ng calendaryo?
miguel: pano mo sesend?
patty_gon09: hmm..think think..d pa rin nagets..hahhaa
miguel: gets? ano? eh pano ko magegets ang alam ko kahapon yun.........
patty_gon09: kahapon ang alin?
miguel: asus
patty_gon09: ha?
miguel: 21/ 22
patty_gon09: finally.
miguel: kelan ba talaga?
patty_gon09: ewan ko sabi mo 22 eh
miguel: ang alam ko 21 eh
patty_gon09: ikaw nagsabi na 22 eh..ano ba talaga?
patty_gon09: 21 ba?haha..this is soo funny
miguel: huh? ano ba talaga? ok this is final ha! 22 na okie?
patty_gon09: pagsipan mo, 21 o 22..go!go!
miguel: hmmm 22 na lang...
patty_gon09: sigurado na?
miguel: yeah im sure na!
patty_gon09: ok then..ganda ng line ko noh?haha..alam ko mahina ka sa dates
miguel: tangek, gets na kita, lam ko naman na 21/ 22, hinihintay k lang na ikaw mgconfirm, nung nagpalit ka ng status alam ko na eh
patty_gon09: kala ko natanga ka lang eh..hahaha..kung akala mo kahapon bat d mo sinabi sakin?
miguel: kasi nga iniintay ko na ikaw magconfirm, baka mapahiya lang ako
miguel: hahahha!patty_gon09: hahaha..

we actually had to settle for the date..we decided to make it 22..though i like 21.but what the heck.doesn't really matter! as long as it's him..haha.cheesy!Ü love you miggy!Ü

yesterday we went to brampton because it's rosa's and tita susan's birthday bash..tita susan's house is really nice! i like it! there were lotsa yummy food!Ü i really like this ice cream cake that they usually buy..i think it's from DQ..told mommy to buy me one on my birthday!hahaha!so childish.Ü there's this cute kid..rosa.she's kinda masungit..she only goes with her mom or dad, her siblings and katkat..at first she didn't want to approach me but later on she did! and everytime she sees me, she yells out a loud "hi!" she's so cute! i love babies! they're so adorable! and she even reminds me of gogo cause they look a like..though mas chinita nga lang si rosa..and richelle, her older sister like 7/6years old, looks like dindin naman..so long lost relative nyo ba sila din?! hahaÜ they have a brother, richard..who's sumpungin! he only likes to be with his mom or dad! he doesn't even want people to see his face! he looks like a koala hanging from daddy branch!hahaÜ but he talked to me too..cause i was showing him and rosa the pictures of rosa that i took from my fon..then he went "how about me?are there pictures of me?" so i told him to stand still and i took his picture..though it's dark coz we were in the backyard..

pics from yesterday...

here's rosa..isn't she the cutest?! din, dba kamuka ni gogo?

this is richard..he's cute too isn't he?

pictures of me and rosa

*when vanity attacks...*

bagong ligo

at the party!!

brother bear and me!

2005-08-21T22:40:00.000-04:00

Today's Forecast
Feeling like a stranger in a strange land? Take some time to observe the natives. Learn the customs and listen to how they speak, then try approaching someone. See? It's a pretty friendly place after all

hey it's applicable! hope it really goes well..

in doubt..

2005-08-19T13:12:00.000-04:00

ho-humm..just when one kapraningan is over, another one just pops out! it's my waterloo i guess...i love talking with kit..wait.baka masabi ko na sakanya..if ever i do,hope he won't squeal..

i'll be watching tennis later! yay!

hey daniel it's you! haha..

and she's smiling again

2005-08-19T05:02:00.000-04:00

yes. i am.

who would've thought id be ok before goin to bed?Ü wala nga akong balak itxt un bago ako matulog..but he did go online..at first, i hesitated to reply but oh well, hindi natiis..nung una masungit pa nga ako.. i even told him "how's my drunk ass boyfriend?" at i think i offended him because he said that made his day daw..ngarks.sorry baby.hehe..and then he said he has to go na.. i asked him if he really is goin or he just wants na pigilan ko sya.. and he did have to leave...and there.i smiled and i told him na ill text him after i finish my blog...Ü

*currently chatting with lucille, thinking bout the filipino foods that we miss..aww. tapsilog. yum.

tortured soul

2005-08-19T03:34:00.000-04:00

i am glad that another day has started... though my heart still feels tortured, hopefully i'll have better luck today..im going to school to secure my slot cause i got in!! and my decision is kinda changing...im thinking to go with accounting and finance..i dunno.i have til tomorrow morning to decide...tomorrow ill be going with adele and we'll be watching the rogers cup in york university! i hope hantuchova(is that the right spelling) and justin henin-hardene both have games tomorrow..i wanna see them!

after doing my previous post, i slept..mommy told me to do so because when garri saw me here in front of the pc, he was bothered..did i look that trashed for him to notice?and mom went in and she was laughing because of how i looked..she asked me to take a nap and i did..well, after crying a river! the last time i cried this hard was when i had a fight with garri..kung hindi ko lang talaga pinipigilan, malamang nadepress na ako..but i won't kasi kawawa din ako at sina mommy kasi mahal maconfine..and yeah, with what the friendster horoscope, it said that i will have a blast but i didn't..my heart will want to blast out! gawd.i can't believe this..

now, im lookin at every single friendster account on my friends list...got nothing to do...i feel so low...wala nang self esteem na natira sakin! bigyan mo naman ako! i feel like a fat ugly biatch...i know its crap but yeah i do feel really bad about myself..

pareng winston, nasan ka ngayong nasstress ako?

2005-08-18T16:31:00.000-04:00

you texted me this afternoon saying you're drunk. you told me you did this because you want to forget about your concerns(what i would rather call ka-praningans).. sa tingin mo anong naramdaman ko? man, i was walking down lawrence avenue with a puckered brow, feeling so upset!! if i get drunk here, and i tell you i did this cause i want to forget my problems, how would you feel? i am always so damn worried about you even if you're ok..what more if you have a problem? when u tell me that you're sad, you're pissed or that you're crying, i feel the pain twice.. and here you are telling me you're drunk (which you never are), how do you expect me to react?and this gave me my own kapraningans too... what will you tell me next, that u wanna break up with me?patayin mo na lang kaya ako?! gawd, seemed like my heart was crushed into damn pieces..while i was with mom and dad inquiring for cga, so many things were playing hopscotch in my mind...i wanted to go home, because i know you wouldn't do that if i was there..or atleast if you do it, it will be much easier to deal with because i can just walk at your front door, and we can talk about it..but that's not our situation! i am like thousands of miles away from you...all we have is text and email..of course it's hard but when i think of you, of us, i want things to be ok, to be perfect...as much as i want to go home and be with you, you know i can't because right now, i have no choice...i have to stay but after i get my citizenship, i can do my own thing and decide for myself..

actually i have a choice.if i stay there, i will forfeit my chance in being a citizen...and it's a very big step which i don't want to experiment with because later on this might be a problem..do you want me to take that risk?

i feel so bad.i was crying on the bus on our way home..i let my hair down so that mom and dad won't see me..gusto ko nalang mag pass out nun..sobrang bigat talaga ng nararamdaman ko ngayon..i am so worried about you..please.all i ask is that you'll always be safe&ok and that you'll behave for me..cause everything that's happening to you makes a big impact on me..for one moment there, i just wanted to die...it's really torturing me! i want to go home but i can't..i want to go home because i know you're not ok..and it makes me feel that i can't do anything for you to be ok..hay baby...i dunno what to do...please please be ok...and be good.those are the only 2 things that i ask of you

barely breathing!

2005-08-18T05:50:00.000-04:00

i woke up early this morning, around 10am to play badminton with tim sa park. but to my delight, napakagaling maglaro ni tim..and im bein sarcastic..the whole time i was staring at her coz she cant even hit her own serve!d manlang ako pinawisan!na-highblood nga ata ako eh..like ang init talaga ng ulo ko..so i decided to head back home..wala din naman mangyayari samin...i jogged para pawisan naman ako kahit konti..but then, hinika ata ako!i can't breathe and i was sorta having chest contractions or something(nyak,un ba term dun?!)basta super sakit talaga..

we called seneca, they said i got in! yay..they told me my grades were pretty good daw..so theyre offering the 3 courses that i chose..problem is, i dunno which one to choose..darn.got 2 days to think..im coming over next friday, to enroll and fix my papers..

lucille and i saw dukes of the hazzard..man! ang pangit ng movie house nla..lucille told me beforehand that they're nothing to what we had in the philippines..but when i went in, oh my, d ko napigilan..i burst into laughter...parang mere maria hall na nilagyan ng movie chairs..ganun!i didn't enjoy the movie that much coz it was soo cold..my nose started to hurt and it went up my head! i had a terrible headache after..and i didn't make it before dark sa bahay..shempre mild sermon courtesy of mommy and of miguel..

i was able to call auntie and miguel with the $5 prepaid voucher..though sandali lang..kay auntie,mga 15-20mins..kay miguel,less than 5..but it was ok,atleast i got to talk to him..after talkking to them,i thought i was fine..but when i went online, darn.i wasnt..i felt homesick again!super sad...i wanna go home.i do..and the latest that i can is maybe this coming summer sa philippines..hope everything works out fine..

gosh,i remember, i started reading the purpose driven life book given by ria and nina..finally i had the guts to start it! and it's my second night!

oh my...according to my friendster horoscope-energy meter(gawd,u believe in that trish?!), my money, love and attitude are in full blast! woohoo!

Today's Forecast
You're on top of the world. In fact, that might be too low -- you're actually over the moon. What's the cause of this good mood? You've either heard or are about to hear a piece of news that's going to blow your mind.

freakin mad at garri

2005-08-05T08:16:00.000-04:00

garri,u knew i waited for like 3 hours just to be able to chat with miguel.. i let you use the computer thinking that you would call me when he comes..grabe pawis ko sa room mo pero because i waiting, ok lang..i needed to talk to him you know that!! and now i am soo mad!! ngayon lang ako nagalit nang ganito..what were u thinking huh garri?that i wouldn't find out about this??miguel was online for 2 freakin hours!! and i told u na i have to maximize our time sa chat kasi hindi naman everyday may pera kaming pangchat..i asked u soo many times kung online sha..u said no..how can u do that to me??i am soo mad!!!!

*stopped..began fight with miguel*

* excerpts from our chat*

*this is where it all began*
patty_gon09: kanina ka pa ba online?
miguel: yup, nag out lang ako, bumalik ako ulit kasi hindi ako nakatiis..
miguel: hehe
patty_gon09: like for how long?
miguel: 2 hours
patty_gon09: fuck.and my ym was online?
miguel: yup....
miguel: tulog ka yata eh.... hehehhee
patty_gon09: and did u buzz me?
miguel: sorry
miguel: yes i did

*ang pagtatanggol ni miguel kay garri*
miguel: hindi kasalanan ni garri ok?
miguel: ano ka ba? tulog ka kaya
patty_gon09: binilin ko sa kanya
patty_gon09: sabi nya he was calling me daw telling me na online ka, but u know, he didnt kasi ang babaw ng tulog ko..nakakainis tlaga..
miguel: pero u were sleeping.... and may kachat sha, i was the one who told him not to call you para makasleep ka na and besides sandali lang naman ako.. wag ka na magalit okie?
patty_gon09: but he knew i was waiting! nagstay pako sa dito sa room nya..nakakainis..
miguel: hay nako trish, wag ka na magalit okie? wala lang yun ok? my fault kaya stop na pls.
patty_gon09: no sorry i cant
patty_gon09: naiiyak nko sa galit..didnt he know i was going to find out??
miguel: hello? ako nga yung nagsabi sa kanya na wag ka na gisingin ok!!!! cant you understand that? kaya pede wag ka sa kanya magalit!!
patty_gon09: but cant u get it?he knew i was waiting! kung sensitive un,sinabi nya sakin..if u were in his place hindi mo rin ba ako gigisingin?miguel, i stayed in his room for 3 hours! ilang beses ako nagtanong kung online kna..hindi daw.tapos pagkita ko patay na un pc..binuksan ko ult..and i asked him again if u were never online..he said no
miguel: trish cant you get it din??? ako nagsabi sa kanya na wag ka na gisingin para tuloy tuloy na tulog mo!!! and if i was in his place id do the same! (kasi may kachat sya) this night lang naman eh! ano ka ba trish??? cant you understand na ako nga nagsabi na wag ka gisingin!!!!BUZZ!!!

*rage of emotions*
patty_gon09: no..ang inconsiderate eh..i was resting.i wasnt really sleeping..
miguel: ang alam ko you were sleeping and may kachat din si garri so i gave way kasi we still have the rest of next week to chat. trish, pls wag ka na magalit. and if magaaway lang tayo now sana hindi na lang ako nagonline ulit
patty_gon09: u knew how i felt nung sinabi nya sakin na never ka nagonline and u didnt even text me?nainis ako..nahurt..coz u told me u were..and u ddnt even tell me na hindi natuloy..u think kung d kta nakachat ngyn makakatulog ako?
patty_gon09: im sorry im just hurt that's why im really pissed
miguel: ok, im really sorry na pero wala na din ako load and wala na din ako money para magonline ok. im really sorry if hindi na kita pinatawag kasi i gave way din. so sorry if nahurt ka and sorry if ang inconsiderate ko... hay
patty_gon09: so do understand where im coming from?what im trying to say?or are u still thinking na im just pissed at garri for no reason at all?man, im not like this and i wont cry like this kung wala lang
miguel: trish, i know may reason ka pero what im trying to say is hindi kasalanan ni garri ok?? ako may kasalanan

*and then it starts*
miguel: can we pls stop arguing about this??? kachat mo na ko now di ba???
BUZZ!!!
miguel: hellooooooo???????
BUZZ!!!
patty_gon09: what?
patty_gon09: hindi mko naiintindihan eh
miguel: okie, ur pissed off about this then fine! naintindihan na nga kita eh! nagsosorry na nga ako eh!!! nageexplain na nga ako eh!!! syang yung oras ko dito kung magaaway lang tayo!!! magsasign-out na ko kung magaaway lang tayo! nagsosorry na nga ako eh!!!!!!! naman o!!!! sasabihan mo pa ko ng WHAT??????

*........*
patty_gon09: pero hindi naman ako sayo nagagalit ah..im just telling yopu what im feeling right now, galit ako..tapos sasabayan mo pa ako?
patty_gon09: i just want you to listen to me that's all
miguel: hindi ka galit sakin sasabihan mo ko ng "what"? im listening and im explaining pa nga eh! im even saying sorry and i mean it! hindi pa ba enuf ung kausap mo na ko and nagsorry na ko???
patty_gon09: what do u expect me to say?what he did was wrong..inaako mo pa ung blame..sorry..lam ko iniisip mo ang babaw ko..hindi ko lang mapigilan ung rage ng emotions ko..before i talked to you i was really mad and i was crying..
miguel: eh pano ko hindi aakuin eh ako naman talaga nagsabi sa kanya na gawin yun?? kanina ko pa sinasabi eh... hindi sige ok lang, magaway lang tayo.

*kiss and make up*
patty_gon09: ok...sorry..im trying to cool down na...
miguel: yeah, do that
patty_gon09: mali ba ako?
patty_gon09: did i just get mad and cry over nothing?hindi naman dba?
patty_gon09: i think i have enough reasons..
miguel: you have reasons pero what im trying to say is ur getting mad at the wrong person.
patty_gon09: i dont think so..he's really like that kasi eh..kung selfish ako, mas grabe ung kanya
miguel: hindi pa ba clear na ako nagsabi sa kanya na gawin yun? and you know what he said?? he said "pagdi ko sya ginising magagalit yun, pati sayo." i said "sige ok lang ako bahala, txt ko na lang sya mamya, chat muna kayo ng kachat mo" (crush nya kachat nya). you see???? alam nya magagalit ka pero i told him not to wake you up!
patty_gon09: alam mo kung ilang oras na sila magkachat nun?and he was even with her the whole day! god,the girl lives like 7 block away from us
miguel: cmon trish, ngayon lang naman eh, next time hindi na mangyayari. trish wag na natin pagawayan to pls???????????
patty_gon09: haayy..ok..sorry..
miguel: sorry na din...

ok..so were ok now..what im hitting is that it was so inconsiderate for him not to tell me..kahit pa sinabi sa kanya ni miguel na wag na..he knew i was waiting..nagpuyat pa ako to think i have an appointment tomorrow sa school..if i were in his place, sasabihin ko..may naghihintay eh...

whether to go gr12-univ or college-univ

2005-08-03T04:48:00.000-04:00

Today's Forecast
Time to pack up your bags and move on -- metaphorically, and perhaps literally, too. This situation is just about done for, and there's no point in sticking around and trying to revive it to its former glory.

new update..i have another choice..i can go to a community college instead of goin back to grade12 and after getting my diploma, id go straight to a university to get a degree..but i really dont like the idea both ways..but i have no choice because i don't have the credits to get into a university and besides, they're closed for this fall already..

but i have good offers from my mom..she would buy me a notebook and she'll allow me to go home every year! yay!

*currently feeling inis*

some quotes from the carrot, egg, and coffee

2005-07-30T12:51:00.000-04:00

***The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

***The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

my poor hands

2005-07-30T00:54:00.000-04:00

because we don't have ate dolor, our laundry woman, here i am forced to do my laundry...we have wash day once every two weeks..the problem is, i have to wash my undies separately coz if i put it into the washing machine, i can't be assured that it will be washed well..and as a result, i have freakin' wounds on my hands..after washing, my hands were so sore and itchy and they were really in hot red!i even had to put betadine..and guess what, the betadine's gone na..i must've touched/scratched my face or something! haha..yuck.

i was sorta productive today..i did laundry though my fingers were hurt..and i fixed my room! finally i can keep my luggage inside the closet coz i was able to remove all my stuff in it..though not at its very best, i can say that my room is clean!Ü i was able to fix my clothes down to my accessories!

my daddy's kawawa..he's still suffering from pain..kanina nga naka sock sha eh..(take note, isa lang!) para mabawasan dw un pain..tapos d pa sha mkapagpacheck up kasi from our house he needs to walk a few blocks sa bus stop tapos lakad pa ulit hanggang sa hospital..eh he can't do it nga kasi sa house nga lang pagod sha eh..ang daddy ko kawawa naman..nagkaron pa sha ng cut yesterday!kungbaga, sinalo na nya lahat ng kamalasan namin dito..hahaÜ bell mailed us,sabi maaactivate na daw phone namin sa aug15!yay!matagal pa un pero,pde na rather than having it on sept 6!

im in the mood for surveys today!

2005-07-29T23:59:00.000-04:00

ok so i have all the time i want and i think im in the mood to answer surveys..those that they post on their bulletins in friendster..boring?bakit ba, gusto ko eh! hahaha

SURVEY #1
1.the last movie you watched?
*fantastic 4 with josh and miguel
2. the last tv show you watched?
*friends
3. the last song you heard?
*especially for you
4. the last thing you bought?
* load
5.the last place you went to?
*no frills grocery store
6. the last food you ate?
*sky flakes!meron pa dn dito nun!
7. the last thing you heard from your parents?
*lagyan mo ng betadine-mom
8. the last thing you said to your parents?
*mommy oh c garri d pa nagwawash ng dishes
9. the last thing you said to one of your friends?
*i miss all of you
10. the last book you read?
*shopaholic and sister..only 2 pages, i don't like it
11 who was. the last person you called?
*miguel
12. the last person who called you?
*adele?
13. the last person you texted?
*miggy piggy
14. the last person who texted you?
*miggy piggy
15. the last person who said good night last nyt?
*helene and leah
16. the last person who said i love you?
*miggy piggy
17. the last person you gave a testimonial?
*muffy!
18. the last person who sent u a msg in friendster?
*ij
19. the last person you hugged?
*elise?
20. the last person you saw on tv?
*courtney cox?

SURVEY #2
1. What does your friendster nickname mean?
*just my nick
2. Who/what's on your primary photo?
*me!!
3. Who introduced Friendster to you?
*dindin
4. What's your weight?
*100+
5. Are you a busy person?!
*right now?tss..nothing to do man!
6. What are you wearing right now?
*tshirt and pjs
7. What is life to you?
*God's wonderful gift that we should treasure
8. What is love to you?
*u can describe it in many ways but what i can say now is that it keeps me going
9. What/who do you hate most now?
*being stuck here!
10. Who do you love?
*my miggy piggy
11. What makes you happy?
*simple things and him of course!
12. Are you musically inclined?
*not really
13. What happens if you wake up one morning to..See that I die?
*huwaaat?can't understand the question!
14. Do you love cooking?
*it's my dream to be in a culinary school
15. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what will you be?
*a bird so i can go to places that id want to
16. Name ONE obvious quality you have.
*lazy!haha..walang exercise anf katawan!
17. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
*falling
18. Who do you think would reply to this survey the quickest?
*dunno..im just posting this in my blog
19. The slowest?
*ngekngoks
20. Are you happy today?
*kanina pero gabi nanaman,here comes the pain..
21. Who was in your dreams?
*miggy piggy
22. Who makes you happy?
*miggy piggy
23. What time is it now?
*12:34 am
24.Name the Last Four Things U Have Bought?
*pan de sal, load, 2 bags full of groceries!(hey i dunno what to write!)
25.Name two things you usually drink?
*water and iced tea
26.Last Time You Cried?
*the other night
27.What's In Your MP3 Player?
*lotsa songs and pics
28.What's Under Your Bed?
*nothing
29.What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
*12:30pm?
30.Current Hair?
*short.i hate it
31.Current Clothes?
*huh?what i have on now is a shirt and pjs
32.Current Desktop Picture?
*ung crush ni garri julianne lee?
33.Current Worry?
*lotsa worries!!!corrupt na utak ko
34.Current Hate?
*that im here right now..and i cant do anything bout it
35.Favorite Place To Be?
*in my bathroom
36. If You Could Play An Instrument?
*nah.jologs ako eh.haha
37.Favourite colour[S]
*PINK!!!
38.How tall Are You?
*5'0.5 haha tawad pa!
39.Current Favorite Word?
*pathetic
40.One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To?
*dunno if i wanna talk bout the past pa, let's leave it there..
42.Favorite Day(s)?
*last months before i left the philippines
43.Where Would You Like To Go?
*philippines!!!!
44.Where do you want to live when you get married?
*doesn't matter,as long as i get married to the one i love
45.Favorite fruit?
*lahat!!!
46.Color of most clothes you own?
*pink!
47.What you sleep with?
*pillow and phones
48.What do you wear when you go to sleep?
*either pjs or shorts
49.What were you doing 12AM last night?
*internet!!!
50what is the brand of your wallet?
*d na uso sakin ang wallet,takot mawalan ulit
51.Last crush?
*miggy?
52.Last CD/song play?
*especially for you

mosquito 'bites'

2005-07-28T23:39:00.000-04:00

kala ko pag pumunta nkong Canada, d na ako makakakita ng mga insektong kadiri!but no, i was wrong! just now, i was able to squish a really big mosquito full of blood! eww! and then who said that they have no flies here?oh my they do! at hindi lang fly, bangaw! and they're big i tell you! humonguous!(is my spelling right?)as in the type of bangaw na super bagal lumipad, pinapaalis ko na, ayaw pa so kelangan mo talaga itouch and they are the ones who make irritating buzzing!! pati insects dito healthy!they're not plenty in number that's why they're big, coz they don't have to fight for their survival!hahahaÜ

*in my fave place,my bathroom!!*

currently chatting with helene, leah and migskidoo baby booboo!

i love my bathroom

2005-07-28T05:10:00.000-04:00

I MISS ALL OF YOU!

its 5am and im still up..haven't updated my blog for more than a month now..im in canada..yes.hell.my mind's all fuzzy right now..i have problems with school because everybody's telling me that it's best if i go back to grade 12..usapan namin ni mommy pag pinabalik ako ng hs,uwi nko ng pilipinas..u know i could grab that chance..coz i really want to go back..yes,because of friends and other family members..pero siguro because of *him*..i love him..but im here! i can grab that chance if mommy will allow me but i know my future will be better here..but i want him to be my future..how's that?i thought of so many plans so that we can be together! that maybe we can both settle here...that maybe i can petition him when i get my citizenship....i had so many plans but then i failed to consider that he has his family there..his dad, even ate joy and of course luz..they need him..but how's that,i need him too?haaay..my head's going bonkers already! i have to do something...but what?i have two things in mind..either to study there and worry about my job after or that id finish school here and earn big bucks there.....hayhayhay..i need ur guidance Lord..

>>>i love my bathroom..we have this certain connection! haha..for this entry,i just wanna share my pictures taken yesterday night...we have these big yellow bulbs that's why the effect is so nicehaha.dig!

ill update my site maybe tomorrow or the next..

nakakapagod din pala maging bum

2005-06-16T10:30:00.000-04:00

nakakapagod din pala maging bum noh?although it's fun coz you can hang out anytime you want,it can be tiring din pala..ken,me and miguel are the officials 'bums'..our lesson for today was to hang at my house for 9 whole hours,from 1pm to 10pm; watch like 3 films and to cook 8 packs of pancit canton! and of course, ken's ever famous yosi break! pero twas fun! i'll remember this day talaga..

yesterday naman, we(josh,miguel and i)watched batman begins of course,sa gateway..nasulit naman namin ung 140 coz the movie was long..action plus prolly a squirt of humor..later in the evening, we went to oody's galle.. miguel's bro, kuya jay-c, had their gig last night..damn,he's good!he's prolly like paolo santos or smthin'..even when i was throwing up in the cubicle, i was able to hear his version of change the world dn, and twas damn good..*rewind* yeah.twas my first time to barf coz of beer..sinalo ko kasi c josh.aba, may demonyo ata un beer nya eh..we met ate joy, miguel's sister, and her friend prince..sayang.

Joint Horoscope:
Okay -- picture the two of you on a tightrope, high in the air, each on your own sparkly silver unicycle. Oh, and you're both juggling china teacups. And kittens. But hey, your spangled outfits look terrific. And the conversation you're having is scintillating. The crowd, far below, oohs and ahhs at your amazing balancing act. You're redefining multitasking together, seamlessly integrating all the disparate pieces flying around you -- and you're enjoying the heck out of each other all the while.

stress tlga

2005-06-11T13:44:00.000-04:00

leche..ang haba haba ng tinype ko,mawawala lang?all i can say is that this is a very stressful day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today's Forecast
Your need for independence is acting up, whether within a one-on-one relationship or in terms of a group. Get some alone time before you get cranky -- and others get offended.

june 8, 2005

2005-06-08T06:59:00.000-04:00

today, i had really a blast! miguel and i watched mr. and mrs. smith..at first i thought it was only about guns, crime scenes and the like..but it was fun! it was a nice film!Ü brad is so hot and angelina's pretty in that film too..you guys should watch it! we were supposed to watch pba din kaso, P250 each.man,that's a lot..considering we watched a movie na.

josh and i walked around the village well, to kill time, to bond and to..hmm..hahaÜ out of our fab 4, only the two of us were present..i was bangag that time na maybe because of lack of sleep..i was talking to joline, josh's sis, and he called me..i went,"hello?" haha! laughtrip! and then kuya joms went inside josh's room and asked us to buy rice...when we left their house, i said, "josh, nagyoyosi na din si kuya joms?" he said no. then i answered, "eh bakit sha nagpapabili ng lights?"(winston lights) and then he laughed..he told me kuya joms asked us to buy rice not lights...hilarious.

we headed for tin's coz some of our friends are there..from there, we went to the dolatre's and yes, we, agin, hmm, drank! hahaÜ pero this time, it's not gin..forgot what it's called but it's delish! it's a mixture of tanduay white, lime juice and coke..it just tasted like soda..well, depends on who mixed it..i only trust josh and pao's taste in drinks! haha.no offense guys but they are really the experts! said i'd go home by 11pm coz i was really tired and sleepy! but the drink kinda woke me up..coke eh..we went home na at around 2 or 2:30 am..

Today's Forecast
Your head's telling you one thing, while your heart's telling you another. Listen to your emotional response, but don't overreact. What's overwhelming now will make much more sense in a couple days.

in the mood eh?

2005-06-06T23:45:00.000-04:00

JUNE 6, 2005 * monday

i woke up early so that i'd be able to finish the stuff i have to do in school early..but i wasn't able to finish it yesterday because i still have to pay around 2600 bucks for the bullsh*t enlisting fee! damn..naka 5k na ata ako sa school ah..i was with miguel because he told his dad he's studying again..HAHAHA! what a big joke! all he did there was clean his condo and surf the net! and of course, wait for me!i decided to leave taft at around 11:30 because i wouldn't be able to get the last 3 signatures that i need unless i pay that P2600 for the enlisting sh*t.. so we headed for gateway and we were soooo frickin' smelly AND sweaty! hah,i just remembered, earlier, there was this kid who grabbed on to my jacket because she was asking for coins eh we didn't want to give her some..grabe! she didn't let go of me talaga and then we were near the guards na in LRT,miguel gave her i think 4 pieces of 25c..nagkaron kami ng instant anak! haha..it was soo funny! unforgettable..we waited for josh and tala n gateway..and what was our pasttime while waiting?laugh at people and mock them! haha..evil but funny BUT evil..when we were eating, we shared so many stories! kahit dalawa lang kami kala mo ang dami namin sa ingay! we were making scripts for people who were there esp. for the D.O.M. and his girl..haha! we were also spotting for people who were looking at us! 'tiger-look according to miguel' hahaÜ nabring up ung topic na nabulag ako coz naging crush ko daw sha dati..haha.and c miguel, nahurt nanaman! that guy seems so strong, but he's praning and tampururot on the inside! hurt daw sha sa sinabi ko sabi nya d na daw sha magpapakita sakin ever! hahaÜ as if! and he was already getting mad at me because i keep on shouting "miguel, jinajabar ka nanaman?!" and people near us will look at him and then on his armpit! hahaÜ the first incident was when were in line in cubao..i think 5 people stared at him!hahaÜ second was when we stayed in the foodcourt, two students of CEU passed by our table and i said the magic sentence! hahaÜ and the last was when he was super pissed..we were walking towards the bathroom and then i saw 3 girls near us and was checkin' him out..then boom! i said "oh, miguel, jinajabar ka nanaman!" haha! i was very happy! but he was mad! he wanted to choke me to death! nyahahaÜ we watched a lot like love and ashton kutcher was, oh, how i love him talaga!Ü kinurot ko si miguel ng super gigil and naawa naman ako kasi parang sakit na sakit sha..so bumawi nlng ako..imgonna miss our bonding moments talaga...hai.we also had our pictures taken AGAIN..and it wasn't nice..but anyway, picture pa din un! tala and i went straight to mary's house coz they said there was a practice for her debut..and so they did..i was their spectator kasi i wouldn't be around na sa debut nya..nakakatawa sila..especially lloyd kasi super kulit! hmm..i slept early yesterday prolly coz i was super tired...

*breakfast in kfc*
*lunch at wendy's*
*dinner? tita walda's isawan*

i dunno if it's today or yesterday's forecast but i like it! hehe:
Today's Forecast
Hope you're in the mood for love, because according to the stars, it's very much in the mood for you. Don't even bother with getting all gussied up -- it's your brain that's undeniably sexy now.

Energy Meter
money

love

attitude

june 5, 2005

2005-06-05T10:50:00.000-04:00

kuya russ will be leaving tom..so we had a get together swimming thingy..twas ok..
*
currently chatting with ken,tin,kit and john..ewan ko ba,iba iba mood ko for each person..kay john,sabaw ako..kay tin, tawa ng tawa..kay ken, kilig..si kit,miss ko na
*
im off to school AGAIN tomorrow..hope i finish the stuff im supposed to do...miguel's comin with me! and i think josh and tala as well..hope it'll be fun tomorrow!yay!
*
im floating right now!!!! haha..but i need self control..Lord,help me! haha
*
i feel sticky!!!

Today's Forecast
The minute you feel slightly bored, bam! Along comes something (or someone) that knocks your socks right off. Respond with all the creativity you can muster -- only your best will do now.

sabaw ng utak

2005-05-29T16:37:00.000-04:00

minsan lang ako topakin..pero pag tinopak naman, matindi..

***

was excited to see him..yes.i waited for so many days to see him..but things went wrong today..i feel sooo sabog. bitter lang yan! boys talaga, they're all shit..(haha.no offense, mainit lang talaga ulo ko..) help me bring my confidence back..feeling ko natapak tapakan nko..bitter nga, tanga pa din..hai.i wanna explode.i know i sound sooo pathetic pero this is what im currently feeling right now..have to document it.hayhay.buhay,so unfair.

***

hope i'd feel much better tomorrow.....

at ako'y natanga..

2005-05-28T11:16:00.000-04:00

kasabawan! at talaga nga namang nakakasabaw..what was i thnking?! i should be more careful next time! buti magaling ka magpalusot trish..gosh.thought it was the end of the world na kanina! i was shaking and my heart started beating FAST! hai.trish buti na lang magaling ka magpalusot!
*
i trimmed my bangs by a centimeter tonight..
*
rained so hard so i stayed at home the whole day!
*
swimming tomorrow with my cousins

puerto gallera pics

2005-05-19T04:42:00.000-04:00

the moms having a shot of the ever famous mindoro sling!

L-R: my mom(elsa), tita loi, tita cynch, tita siony

the girls with the moms

us having a good time with mindoro sling

(TOP L-R:mela, moppet, me, dane, tala; BOTTOM L-R:maan, ken, tin, mandi)

MINDORO SLING!

it's final

2005-05-19T03:54:00.000-04:00

our passports arrived via dhl around 3:30 pm a while ago..we opened the package and i immediately grabbed my passport..i saw the sticker thingy that has the canadian seal in it..IT'S FINAL.im leaving..i feel so bad.it sucks.