Saturday, April 19, 2008 @ 1:14 AM
pudgy hoe
i've always felt that i have had issues with myself regarding my weight. it's just sad that i've never felt happy about it my entire life.
through hs and college, i've maintained my weight--
2lbs over a hundred. but since then i've been called names.. babs, anafat, taba are just to mention a few. one particular classmate even told me that im manas na and that i have to see a manghihilot. during these times, i felt like as if im the healthiest pig in the bunch, well in fact my 'old' self was nothing compared to my body now. even when i reached 98lbs before leaving manila, i felt as if i still had to lose weight. but where do you draw the line? i've lost and gained but i was never considered thin. i guess a 10lb change
doesn't make any difference because i was always teased and/or begged to lose weight. don't get me wrong, im not mad at those who constantly tease me.
being thought of as pudgy makes me feel
ugly and
unworthy. am i being too sensitive? maybe. being called fat hurts. but being told to accept your fate being fat hurts even more. but it's ok, i guess. truth hurts but it'll set you free.........
eventually.
i think i will be FOREVER be
fat.
note to self: just accept it.... i guess.
